The past twelve years on TOWIE have been a bit of a dating merry-go-round, so it’s easy to forget who got off with who.
Remember Kirk Norcross and Amy Childs? Mario Falcone and Chloe Sims? Or Gemma Collins and Charlie King?
Well, we’re here to remind you of every random snog, date and hook-up in TOWIE history, because while Cupid sure has done a long shift in Essex, his arrow’s been slightly wonky over the years.
Kirk Norcross and Amy Childs
It was over before it began, but blooming heck it was good telly.
In 2010, Kirk Norcross and Amy Childs flirtation was one of the first ever TOWIE storylines. He even got a red-headed pin-up girl tattooed on the back of his shin, who looked freakishly like Amy. And after a date at the zoo, which Amy was very unimpressed by, Kirk ended up booking Lauren Pope to DJ at the Sugar Hut and decided to ditch Amy for Popey.
Then, at an Indian themed night, Amy confronted Kirk in true Essex fashion.
Chloe Sims and Gatsby
The Queen of Essex - well, a title shared with Amy Childs and Gemma Collins – Chloe Sims, and Brentwood’s resident rapper [Gatsby {href='https://closeronline.co.uk/celebrity/news/gatsby-towie/' target='_blank' rel='noreferrer noopener'}), had a short tryst that ended up with them spending Christmas together, along with his mum, Nikki.
Well, this fling actually happened in between filming and it was during season 20 that Chloe filled the gang in after it had all come to an end. Only, Gatsby wanted her back.
It transpired she had a sudden, irreversible change of heart, telling him, "I just don’t know what to say about it, it just changed, not taking away from that time we spent together because when we were, I was fully in.
"I think we were just caught up in the moment, Liam, there's something I need that I can't get from you."
Ouch.
She later told the TOWIE cast part of the reason it all unfolded was because she liked spending time with his mum… and it was Christmas. Oh Chloe, that’s not how it works, a Gatsby is for life, not just for Christmas.
Gatsby and Clare Brockett
Chloe Brockett's mum Clare was first seen on our screens picking her daughter up following a night out.
And it was during season 24 that M.C Gats set his sights on the new mama of Brentwood, Clare Brockett. He admitted, “There is a MILF who has been introduced. She is actually really fit, all the boys were like ‘wow’.”
At the time, Gatsby was 30 and Clare was 42 and on their date he told her, “age is just a number,” - but things didn’t go any further.
However there was an awkward scene when Gatsby left a bunch of flowers at the Brocketts doorstep and Chloe thought they were for her and from Harry Lee. Bless.
Bobby Norris and Harry Derbidge
You know what’s dramatic? The same drama, resurfacing, seven years later. And no, that’s not a bad dad joke, we’re talking about Bobby Norris and Harry Derbidge short relationship in 2014, that made its way back into TOWIE's storylines last year.
In 2014, a dramatic episode of The Only Way is Marbs saw Harry confess that he had cheated on Bobby with his ex, on holiday.
"Before I tell you this I absolutely love you so much. Please don't cry, please," Harry told Bobby at the time.
"When we was in Tenerife I did sleep with my ex. I'm f**king so sorry because I f**king never meant to hurt you, I really didn't."
Fast-forward to 2021, and Harry returned for TOWIE’s ten-year reunion but in a shock twist, he denied ever cheating on Bobby and claimed that the pair got together in January 2014, and the incident with the ex-happened in December 2013, before they made things official.
It all kicked off with cast members accusing Harry of trying to rewrite history and before you knew it, Bobby took a break from the show before quitting for good.
It wasn't all bad though, remember Bobby and Harry’s matching “shlong thongs”?
Gemma Collins and Charlie King
Who knew when Kate Winslett asked Leonardo DiCaprio (in Titanic) to “draw me like one of your French girls,” it would inspire such an iconic moment of reality TV.
In 2012, Charlie King decided to draw Gemma Collins just like Jack and Rose and it should have been clear early on that the duo were not right for each when Gemma responded, “That is the most weirdest thing I ever heard in my life.”
The relationship was turbulent to say the least, with Gemma getting jealous over Charlie’s relationship with Bobby.
Howeve there's no bad blood between because Gemma and Charlie are now friends and he's even offered to be the GC’s sperm donor.
Amber Turner and Jamie Reed
In season 20, Amber Turner joined the cast as Megan Mckenna's BFF in Tenerife and at the time she had been dating Jamie Reed for four years.
FYI: he had actually appeared on TOWIE back in the day, claiming he slept with Joey Essex’s sister Frankie and it ruffled some feathers.
Anyway, the drama with Amber and Jamie began when a rumour started circling that Amber had spent a little longer than everyone else at the afterparty in Dan Edgar’s hotel room and the two shared a snog.
She denied it to everyone - including Megan and her then boyfriend Pete Wicks - however it wasn't too long before the truth came spilling out. Amber and Jamie's relationship ended with a very heated row and shortly after, she was dating Dan.
Lauren Goodger and Tom Pearce
After Lauren Goodger and Mark Wright called off their engagement (remember when Mark and Arg arrived by horseback to the engagement party?), Lozza decided to get back out there with Tom Pearce.
After a few dates, Lauren said she wasn’t really "feeling it" but she did let him down gently by saying, "I think you're a great guy and you get me, but at this moment in time I need to be single. I want to be friends and that."
Shelby Tribble and Tom McDonnell
It was pretty clear Shelby Tribble always had a thing for Sam Mucklow. There was a lot of flirting and chemistry, despite them insisting they were “just friends,” and it’s certainly obvious that there was always something because they're now parents to baby Abel.
Only, during a break of their “will-they-won’t-they” romance, Shelby decided to give the nice guy a go and went on a few dates with Tom McDonnell. Only, Sam pulled on her heartstrings and her time with Tom was over. The two boys even got in a row about it, with Sam actually pushing Tom.
Dan Osborne and Lucy Mecklenburgh
Back in 2013, Lucy Mecklenburgh strutted into a Marbella party in *that* white, plunge swimming costume, in an attempt to hold her head high and show her cheating ex Mario Falcone she’s still got it.
Well, she then ended up having a little romance with Dan Osborne, but it transpired when they got back to Essex that his ex-girlfriend Megan Tomlin was pregnant. Dan and Lucy's fling came to an end and he's now a dad to Teddy and Ella and Mia (from his marriage to Jacqueline Jossa).
Mario Falcone and Chloe Sims
In 2014, Mario Falcone and Chloe Sims managed to hide their fling from other cast members, despite the fact that they went on a secret sushi date.
However when the news came out, Lauren Pope was upset because she was pals with them both. While some cast members claimed Lauren was bothered because she had a little fling with Mario, Lauren insisted she was upset because she was left out the loop from two of her closet friends.
In the end, Mario ended their relationship, despite Chloe saying she had strong feelings for him.
James ‘Arg’ Argent and Jasmin Walia
Last but certainly not least, this random pairing was TV gold.
James ‘Arg’ Argent was on of his many breaks from either childhood sweetheart Lydia Bright or supreme Essex diva Gemma Collins, when Joey Essex sorted out a date for him, with Jasmin Walia.
After an awkward dinner, date two involved Arg going back to Jasmin’s house to meet her entire family. It was too much, too soon for Arg, who literally did a runner form her house.
In the words of Lydia Bright, oh, James.