EXCLUSIVE! Kerry Katona: ‘It feels right with Ryan because I finally learnt to love myself’

Kerry Katona reveals how she almost missed her chance to meet her now-fiancé Ryan Mahoney, how being single was the making of her and why her fourth marriage will last

kerry katona ryan mahoney

by James Ingham |
Updated on

After years of heartbreak, Kerry Katona found her happy-ever-after in Ryan Mahoney, with the pair getting engaged last summer after two years of dating.

But Kerry, 40, confesses that she nearly missed out on the chance of meeting her fiancé after being put off romance by her previous failed relationships – and admits she only agreed to go on a date with him because she fancied being treated to dinner.

The mum-of-five tells Closer, “After my past relationships, I spent a lot of time learning to love myself. I had to learn to love me before I could get into another relationship. I didn’t even want to start seeing anyone again. I only went on a date with Ryan because Danielle [Brown, Kerry’s pal and Mel B’s sister] forced me to and I fancied a free meal! It was a real slow burner for me. I didn’t think I was ready. But I was learning to love myself, and as a result, I found Ryan.”

Kerry’s had a number of toxic relationships and marriage breakdowns during her lifetime. After rising to fame in Atomic Kitten in the late ’90s, she and then-Westlife star Brian McFadden married and had daughters Molly, 19, and Lilly, 18, but split just two years later over allegations he’d cheated.

She went on to have Heidi, 13, and Max, 12, with second husband Mark Croft, but split after three years, during which time she’d become bankrupt. Kerry later claimed he’d been her drug dealer and enabled her addiction – which he denied.

She then rekindled her romance with childhood love George Kay and they had daughter Dylan-Jorge, now six, before getting married in 2014. But Kerry andGeorge – who passed away in 2019 from a reported drug overdose – split two years later, with Kerry claiming he’d been physically abusive towards her, which he’d denied.

kerry katona george kay
Her ex George tragically died in 2019 ©Getty Images

After becoming single again at 37, with five kids, Kerry says she decided to look inside, rather than to others, to find happiness. She says, “I needed to work on myself – I didn’t want to keep doing the same thing over and over again because I kept getting the same result and I didn’t want that any more. The thing I did differently was learning to love me and to surround myself with people who were worthy of my time.

“I thought I deserved getting a black eye from George. I thought I deserved to be married to a drug dealer like Mark. With George and Mark, that was the self-worth I thought I deserved. That’s how little I thought about myself and how little I loved myself. I had no self-worth, so I needed to be single.”

Check out: Kerry Katona's husbands and boyfriends - where are they now?

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Kerry Katona's husbands and boyfriends - where are they now? - slider

Kerry Katona and Brian McFadden1 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

Kerry Katona and Brian McFadden

Kerry shot to fame in 1999, as 1/3 of pop band Atomic Kitten. It wasn't long before Kerry was swept into her first high-profile relationship – thanks to a well-timed tour with Irish crooners Westlife.During the tour, Kerry met Brian McFadden. Three months later he asked her to marry him.Shortly after he popped the question, Brian was quoted as saying: "Everything I plan, everything I do, revolves around Kerry. When I wake up in the morning, she's the first person I call."I've written a song about her called Fragile Heart. I write songs for Kerry every day, I get so much emotion thinking about her."It wasn't long before Kerry and Brian welcomed their first child: in August 2001, daughter Molly was born.

Kerry Katona and Brian McFadden2 of 26
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Kerry Katona and Brian McFadden

They married in the celebrity wedding of the year in 2002, surrounded by friends, family and a collection of the country's biggest celebrities.Just a year after becoming husband and wife, Kerry and Brian's second daughter, Lily-Sue, was born. But a lavish wedding and two babies weren't enough to keep them together.In 2004 they shocked fans with the announcement of their separation, and to say things didn't end amicably would be an understatement.

Kerry Katona and Brian McFadden3 of 26
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Kerry Katona and Brian McFadden

They've both since moved on and Brian admitted to The Irish Sun that his relationship with his ex-wife is the best it has ever been. He explained: "We don't speak about everyday stuff but we do work closely with anything to do with our kids, the same as most separated parents it's always about the kids."Our relationship is the best it has ever been. There are no fights or arguments, it's all good now. It's taken a long time to get there but I'm glad it's like that."

Brian McFadden4 of 26
CREDIT: Instagram / brianmcfadden123

Brian McFadden now

After splitting with Kerry, Brian went on to date Delta Goodrem for seven years, before marrying Vogue Williams in 2011. It was to last though and years after their divorce, he has now moved on to PE teacher Danielle Parkinson.Things appear to be moving in the right direction because after Kerry Katona shared a photo of herself with Danielle, she then told OK! magazine that Brian's new girlfriend is "an absolute diamond".

Ziggy aka Zak Lichman5 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

Kerry Katona and Ziggy aka Zak Lichman

Back in 2007 it was reported that Kerry and Ziggy once dated. A source told Reveal magazine: "Zak loves partying and is a big character on the club scene, so they had a real laugh together. "It didn't last long because Kerry was definitely still on the rebound. She wanted to keep their relationship secret in case she got back together with Brian."However Kez has since denied it, which is a shame because he's fit.

Ziggy aka Zak Lichman6 of 26
CREDIT: Twitter / ziggylichman

Ziggy aka Zak Lichman now

It's safe to say that long gone are his reality TV days and now Ziggy - who goes by his real name Zac Lichman - is a doorman at a fancy club in the West End.

Dan Corsi7 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

Kerry Katona and Dan Corsi

Kerry dated Northern Line boyband member Dan Corsi however things didn't work out and they soon split.

Dan Corsi8 of 26
CREDIT: Twitter / @corsihecan

Dan Corsi now

Following his days back in the 90s in the boyband Northern Line, Dan is now a DJ.

Kerry Katona and Dave Cunningham9 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

Kerry Katona and Dave Cunningham

Soon after Kerry was engaged again – this time to Dave Cunningham. However their happiness was short lived, and they split after having huge bust-up in Spain.It was reported at the time that Dave had been seeing his ex-girlfriend behind Kerry's back, leaving her heartbroken.A source told the People: "Because her private life has been made public before, she made a pact not to discuss the split. She is desperately trying to put on a brave face."It's bad enough dealing with a traumatic break-up under normal circumstances never mind dealing with it when you're Kerry Katona."Again it wasn't long before Kerry had found comfort in the arms of a new man.

Kerry Katona and Dave Cunningham10 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

Dave Cunningham now

Since their split Dave has been pretty M.I.A and despite their breakup it seemed that Kerry was still fond of him. She explained to Closer magazine how close he was to her daughters Molly and Lilly-Sue: "I don't know what Brian's doing from one day to the next - the girls hardly see him."They'd started to call Dave dad. He's so wonderful to the girls. He's been a dad to them and done so many amazing things because their dad isn't around."

Kerry Katona and Mark Croft11 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

Kerry Katona and Mark Croft

Kerry and taxi driver Mark Croft married on Valentine's Day 2007. But their marriage was a controversial one – during their time together, Kerry, who was once worth an estimated £6.8 million, was declared bankrupt.Mark and Kerry have two children together, daughter Heidi and son Maxwell.

Kerry Katona and Mark Croft12 of 26

Kerry Katona and Mark Croft

It was also during her marriage to Mark that Kerry made her infamous This Morning appearance, when her slurring and erratic behaviour sparked concern with host Phillip Schofield and with viewers.Later it was revealed that Kerry was battling a cocaine addiction, and she's since admitted that she'd go on 'three-day coke binges' with Mark.She said: "I hated my life. I'd lie in bed for three days in a row doing cocaine with Mark. We did coke in our en suite and had a lock on the door. The kids knew if the bathroom door was locked they mustn't come in."

Kerry Katona and Mark Croft13 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

Kerry Katona and Mark Croft

Kerry and Mark split in 2010, two years after she was declared bankrupt, and he later publicly admitted he 'bled her dry'.During an interview with the Daily Star, Kerry confessed she'd almost ended her life while married to Mark.But, she says having the names of her eldest daughters tattooed on her wrists stopped her, as it stopped her from self-harming."If I was ever to do that it would mean cutting through my kids' names. And what a selfish mother I would be to do that. Like any mother, my first love and priority are my children, above everything and everybody."

Kerry Katona and Mark Croft14 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

Kerry Katona and Mark Croft

Following her split from Mark, Kerry attempted to rebuild her media career and avoided high profile relationships for a few years.Kez has recently admitted that just days before she accepted Mark's proposal she begged ex-husband Brian McFadden to take her back. She's said the only reason she married her second husband was because he was her mum's drug dealer and she "thought she was going to get drugs for free."

Mark Croft15 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

Mark Croft now

Where is Mark Croft you ask? Well that's a pretty good question actually. Back in 2015 he was caught 'running a £50,000 cannabis farm' but since then he has fallen off the grid.

Kerry Katona and Steve Alce16 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

Kerry Katona and Steve Alce

It seemed things were great between Kerry and Steve Alce after she told Closer magazine: "'I've never felt such love from somebody in my life. Steve is so perfect and I cant believe how lucky I am."We had an amazing time in Dubai but, after two messy marriages, I'm not desperate to get hitched again."But I'd never say never - Steve recently moved in and I finally feel so happy. We get on so well."However a month later she broke up with him. A source told The Sunday People: "She has made her mind up and Steve's pretty gutted. She is a party girl and loves being outrageous whereas he is a gentlemen."Kerry was smitten at first, she loved that he wasn't interested in all the celebrity glitz and glamour."Since then Steve has continued with his career as an artist.

Kerry Katona George Kay17 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

Kerry Katona and George Kay

But in 2013 she met ex-rugby player George Kay, and it wasn't long before she gave birth to their first daughter together, Dylan-Jorge.George proposed to Kerry at the top of the Blackpool Tower in April 2013, and the got married in September 2014.

Kerry Katona George Kay18 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

Kerry Katona George Kay

However shortly before their nuptials, George was detained under the Mental Health Act after having a 'breakdown' outside their home.At the time neighbours said he was 'running in and out of cars' and screaming "Kerry, they're going to f--king kill me. They are hitting me with a hammer."

Kerry Katona George Kay19 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

Kerry Katona George Kay

Just two months after the wedding, it was reported Kerry and George were already on the rocks, and he himself admitted to Closer that marriage to Kerry 'isn't what he thought it would be'.Their marriage was rocked once again in June, when George was hospitalised with 'signs of a stroke'.According to reports, George's behaviour became too much for Kerry to cope with and the couple briefly split.Soon after they seemed to be firmly back on track, with them renewing their wedding vows to 'save the relationship'.

Kerry Katona George Kay20 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

Kerry Katona George Kay

Following a turbulent and alleged violent relationship, George and Kerry wasn't to last and in June 2017 the pair announced they'd split for the final time. Since then, Kerry has revealed she used to drink three BOTTLES of Cava a night during her marriage to George.

George Kay21 of 26
CREDIT: Shutterstock

George Kay now

Months after serving Kerry Katona with divorce papers, George moved on and begandating Miss Manchester pageant winner Fatime Gashi.George sadly passed away in July 2019 aged 39.

Kerry Katona James Englgish22 of 26
CREDIT: Instagram / kerrykatona7

Kerry Katona and James Englgish

Just a few months after her split with her third husband, Kerry moved on to stand up comedian James English. Things got slightly bizarre when he spoke out about their relationship in an interview and said he's "using her" for fame, before describing her as "f--ked up".Riiight.A few months after confirming their relationship, Kerry deleted all traces of James on Instagram and announced they'd split by writing a quote about single life.

James English23 of 26
CREDIT: Instagram / jamesenglish2

James English now

The former Glow star has since launched his own podcast called Anything Goes.

Kerry Katona single24 of 26
CREDIT: Instagram / kerrykatona7

Kerry Katona single

Following her not-so-good-luck with me, Kerry Katona started 2018 single and with an INCREDIBLE body. An insider told Closer magazinethat the mum-of-five is happy being single. They explained: "Kerry has always hopped from one relationship to the next, but something has changed and she's now comfortable without a man. "She doesn't want just anyone - she says she'd rather hold out for someone decent, who respects her and can take care of her and the kids. She's learned her lessons from the past."Go Kerry!

Kerry Katona and Ryan Mahoney25 of 26
CREDIT: Instagram / Ryan Mahoney

Kerry Katona and Ryan Mahoney

In July 2018, Kerry told her Instagram followers that she was "officially spoken for". Her hunky new beau was fitness instructor Ryan Mahoney. The good looking pair apparently met on dating app Bumble.

Ryan Mahoney26 of 26
CREDIT: Instagram / Ryan Mahoney

Ryan Mahoney

Ryan and Kerry split in October 2018 following a make-or-break holiday in Thailand. Kerry had posted a selfie of her and a fit looking Ryan days after ranting about "fat" Brian McFadden . They reconciled following Kerry's appearance on Celebs Go Dating in 2019.

After nearly two years off the dating scene, Kerry met Ryan and, apart from a brief three-month break,they’ve been inseparable ever since. She’s revealed in the past how he’s been a great stepdad to her children and has adapted to her celebrity life – saying last June, “When I go off to work, he looks after the kids, so he’s a real father figure in their lives.”

Last summer, Ryan even took the kids with him to pick an engagement ring for Kerry, and, after saying “yes” in Spain last August, she said, “This is how it should be… Before, it’s always been about a wedding. I don’t want a wedding, I want a marriage. Ryan’s my partner, my life partner.”

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Kerry now admits she can’t wait for the personal trainer to become her fourth husband, saying, “It really is different this time. It feels right because I finally love myself and know that he loves me for me. We are still planning to get married in Las Vegas – fingers crossed!”

Kerry’s new outlook hasn’t just benefited her relationships, but also both her physical and mental wellbeing. She has battled mental health issues – being diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2004 – and spent time in rehab for addiction issues in 2008 and again in 2010.

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But Kerry, who’s now a size 8-10, feels healthier and happier than she has in years, saying, “I’ve changed my life through exercise, meditation and eating healthily. Every morning I wake up and write in my gratitude book what I am thankful for. I wrote in there that I wasn’t a smoker and I haven’t smoked for over a year now. I’ve learned to change negative thoughts into positive ones.

“It took me 36 years before I learned not to care about what people think. I was so eager to be loved. I cared more about everyone else’s opinion about me than I did my own… There’s no drama or chaos in my life any more. What I’ve realised is that I was creating half of it myself – everything starts with the thoughts in your head. If you can change how you think about yourself, everything else falls into place.”

Kerry stars in Celebs On The Farm, weeknights at 9pm on MTV.

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