The start of a new series of Love Island is an exciting time here at Closer HQ, but historically, there's always one element to a LI season premiere that – well, to put it frankly – fails time after time, and that's the first episode itself. Real talk – for the last few years, the first episode has been used as an aesthetically pleasing register, and as such, the hour tends to drag – but not this year.
Dare we say, last night's debut episode was even good? Well, no, we won't say that, we've got an image to protect here, but we will say we were surprisingly entertained.
As such, here are 15 (good/bad/nonsensical) thoughts we had while watching the surprisingly captivating opening episode of Love Island series ten.
This format shake-up is exactly what this first episode needed.
Mixing up the girls and the boys from the get-go AND a coupling-up courtesy of the public? Yes, ITV.
But, that bizarre careers/pastimes montage? No.
Immediate 'ick' - it almost killed us off before the games had even begun. It was all very Strictly, wasn't it? And in this instance, that is not a good thing.
We don't come to Love Island for the acting – except for Molly Marsh's, maybe.
Oh, but Maya Jama's Mi Chico Latino yacht tribute was a aesthetically-pleasing win.
Did Maya Jama ever NOT walk in slow-mo?
If she did, we don't want to remember such a dark time.
NO ONE could do Iain Sterling's job.
Those Maya Jama puns were the stuff of genius.
Are Mitchel and Molly this generation's Ryan and Sharpay?
Y'know, the meddling High School Musical duo? It was the matching swimwear conversation that cinched it for us. Also, when Molly started nibbling on Mitchel Taylor's ear during the game of beer pong it was giving less sexy vibes and more sharing hot gossip from around the school cafeteria with your bestie vibes.
Jess is giving us blonde Sophie Kasaei
As such, we're already slightly biased. We can't wait to see what Jess Harding is going to bring to the new series. We predict this one going far.
We have a sudden urge to go at our boiler with a mallet.
Mitchel will have to come running, right?
Most of these Islanders were born after the year 2000.
We know. Take all the time you need.
We kind of want Mehdi and Catherine to get together.
Just hear us out; imagine the sexy accents of Mehdi Edno and Catherine Agbaje fusing together in a romantic date setting. French AND Irish? Stop it. That's hotter than the fire pit.
Ruchee should NEVER play poker
Ruchee Gurung very clearly did not want to couple up with Mehdi. Bless him. For what it's worth, we'd say 'oui', Mehdi. We'd also say "voulez-vous... ?"
George talking about 'moving loose' is going to haunt us for the rest of the summer
Although we giggled when George Fensom said, "Imagine if this was your Dean Gaffney?" when talking about the villa, we have feeling these dad jokes are going to wear thin. Fast.
We'd like to couple up with Tyrique, please.
The honesty, the vulnerability, the meaningful tattoo... Tyrique Hyde is obviously a fitlord, too. Oh, and he knows half the TOWIE lot – that's the biggest green flag for us here at Closer. Swoon.
Jess and Ruchee both stepping forward was telly gold.
After being dared to take a risk by Maya. Chef's kiss, that.
Molly is going to be our reaction face queen this season.
No question.
A hoop-shooting south London Jack Fowler-lookalike bombshell? Oh, go on then.
Our first bombshell is Zachariah Noble and he's set to go off in 24 hours. Literally – he's been given the power to couple up with any girl he wants after a day in the villa.
Love Island airs tonight at 9pm on ITV2 and ITVX.