There was no escaping Vicky Pattison’s pain last week, as she posted an emotional tribute on Instagram to her best friend Paul Burns on the one-year anniversary of his sudden death, writing, “my life hasn’t been the same”.
Paul collapsed and died while on a night out in Newcastle last June, aged just 37. The tragedy marked the beginning of a downward spiral for Vicky, 31 – and a gruelling 12 months.
In November, she was left “heartbroken and humiliated” when her engagement to childhood sweetheart John Noble abruptly ended, after snaps surfaced of him getting close to another woman in Dubai.
Just four months later, she lost another friend, when Love Island star Mike Thalassitis tragically took his own life. Insiders reveal Vicky is still struggling to come to terms with this traumatic series of events.
A source says, “This has been the toughest year of Vicky’s life – she’s even admitted she’s not sure how she’s found the strength to cope. Paul’s anniversary brought back a lot of raw emotions, which she’d tried to bury, but she’s realised she can’t keep ‘boxing up’ her feelings to escape sadness. She’s acknowledged that she’s still grieving, and is not over everything that’s happened. Frankly, she’s worn out by it all.”
Vicky – who’s endured a public battle with her weight since losing 3st in 2013– revealed in May that she’d “gained weight” and that it was “getting her down.” So much so that she admitted she was sleep-eating, and was suffering such a crisis of confidence that she failed to attend the TV BAFTAs that same month.
Check out: classic Geordie Shore cast - then and now
Closer Classic Geordie Shore cast - then and now slider and stacked
1 of 30Vicky Pattison in 2011
Feisty Vicky, the very first person to enter the Geordie Shore house in 2011, has had quite the transformation over the years.
2 of 30Vicky Pattison now
These days, she really is a Geordie girl with a VIP edge.
3 of 30Charlotte Crosby in 2011
Charlotte Crosby takes to the red carpet before appearing in the first ever series of MTV's Geordie Shore.
4 of 30Charlotte Crosby now
Charlotte's had a massive transformation over the years, and has been smashing it in her career since her Geordie days. She hosts Just Tattoo Of Us' has released books and fitness DVDs, and a show all about her.
5 of 30Holly Hagan in 2011
Before her Geordie Shore debut, Holly Hagan looked like this.
6 of 30Holly Hagan now
Now, it would seem that Holly's taken some inspo from Kim K, as her look has drastically changed.
7 of 30Greg Lake in 2011
Greg appeared in Geordie Shore in the very beginning, but didn't make it past series one.
8 of 30Greg Lake now
Greg is now married to Hollyoaks star Jennifer Metcalfe, with whom he has a baby.
9 of 30Gaz Beadle in 2011
Here's Gaz before embarking on his long-running career on Geordie Shore.
10 of 30Gary Beadle now - aged 29
In terms of poses not much has changed. But, believe it or not, this Geordie hunk has left the dating scene behind, because he's loved up with girlfriend Emma McVey. They even have a child together.
11 of 30James Tindale in 2011
James's debut on Geordie Shore saw him spend 90% of his time at the gym and the remaining 10% flexing his muscles in the mirror.
12 of 30James Tindale now
Looks like he stuck at it!
13 of 30Jay Gardner in 2011
'The dad of the Geordie group' Jay was the oldest member of the show. Who could forget those iconic brows...
14 of 30Jay Gardner now
And years later, his brows are still on fleek.
15 of 30Sophie Kasaei in 2011
Sophie joined the Geordie Shore show in series one, but was axed for her bad behaviour two years later. Naughty.She later returned to the show in 2016 with a slightly newer cast!
16 of 30Sophie Kasaei in 2018
She's since glowed upppppppp. She returned to the show for the Big Birthday Battle in 2016 and stayed on as a cast member but quit in spring 2019.
17 of 30Ricci Guarnaccio in 2011
Ricci joined the show in series two, and had a rollercoaster of a relationship with Vicky Pattison.
18 of 30Ricci Guarnaccio now - aged 31
It would seem that since leaving the show he's decided to embark on a new journey....by growing a beard.
19 of 30Rebecca Walker in 2012
Rebecca also joined the show in series two, and was known for her bust-ups, dramas and fallouts.
20 of 30Rebecca Walker now
Now, she's ditched the party days and has become a mum.
21 of 30Daniel Thomas
Dan joined Geordie Shore in the fourth series and left at the end of series five.
22 of 30Daniel Thomas now
He doesn't look all that different now, but he's certainly been enjoying life (and the gym).
23 of 30Scott Timlin 2013
Life and soul of the party Scotty T joined the show in series four.
24 of 30Scotty T now
And WHAT a career this Geordie has had. Fromwinning Celebrity Big Brotherto landing a cameo appearance in Neighbours to even having a girlfriend, he's definitely seen success in the media industry.
25 of 30Marnie Simspon 2014
Marnie entered the house in series seven. Back then, she described herself a "natural beauty".
26 of 30Marnie Simpson now - aged 25
Marnie had several cosmetic procedures done since being on the show, including a nose job, lip fillers and a boob job. She's now expecting a child with Casey Johnson.
27 of 30Aaron Chalmers then
Tatted-up Aaron Chalmers joined in the eighth series and had an infamous on-off relationship with Marnie. It was SO juicy to watch.
28 of 30Aaron Chalmers now
Aaron quit Geordie Shore to focus on his career as an MMA fighter, along with his spending more time on his relationship.
29 of 30Kyle Christie then
How young does Kyle look? We barely even recognised this Geordie Shore star.
30 of 30Kyle Christie now
Well HELLO there Kyle. Talk about a transformation, people.
The source adds, “Vicky prides herself on being open and honest. She knows it’s part of the process of overcoming what she’s been through, but she wishes she could find a way to feel better now. She sometimes has bouts of anxiety where she can’t face going out to work events or socialising, and her friends are starting to worry – they just want the old Vicky back.”
At the time of her BAFTAs no-show, insiders told Closer that the former Geordie Shore star’s confidence was at an all-time low, and pals say she’s still struggling.
The source says, “Vicky’s not been feeling herself recently, and while all her friends reassure her she looks fab, she’s still keen to improve her diet and keep up her workouts – mainly to boost her mood, but also to help maintain her weight.”
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Pals say the star is feeling particularly sad, as she should be happily counting down the days to the £175,000 summer wedding she’d planned with John.
Opening up about the betrayal in January, the I’m A Celeb winner, said, “I saw my whole life unravel in front of me. I felt the lowest I’ve ever felt. I couldn’t imagine hurting the person I’m supposed to love. I couldn’t have even looked at another man, so to do what he’s done to me has left me numb.”
Despite her heartache, Vicky began dating former TOWIE star Ercan Ramadan at the start of the year, but the pair have been on/off ever since, and pals are now concerned he was a rebound fling, and that she’ll be even more upset if they don’t last.
The source says, “Vicky is still trying to get her head around what happened with John, and pals are concerned that she rushed into things with Ercan. A lot of their rows are sparked by the anger she’s still harbouring over her relationship with John.
“Friends and family have urged her to get some more professional help, and have encouraged her to slow things down with Ercan, or even take a complete break while she properly tackles her troubles. But she’s adamant that she needs him right now, and she doesn’t want to be alone.
“Vicky’s incredibly tough and has a huge support network around her, and she’s determined to get back to her old self. She insists she’ll get the help she needs to get herself back on track, and says she just wants to feel fit and strong again."
Read even more celeb news in this week’s Closer magazine, on sale now.