She may be preparing to celebrate her milestone 60th birthday later this month, but Vanessa Feltz insists that age is no barrier to a sizzling sex life.
The radio and TV presenter confesses that, after 16 years together, she and musician partner Ben Ofoedu, 49, still enjoy an incredible connection in bed.
Vanessa tells Closer, “It’s delusional to think that after a certain age you transform into an old person and don’t want excitement, affection, adventure and a great sex life. I’m astounded I’m about to turn 60 – it sounds and feels so old. But inside I still feel like an 18-year-old bristling with hormones.”
Vanessa, who has daughters Allegra, 36, and Saskia, 33, from her first marriage to Michael Kurer, met Ben – former singer with ’90s duo Phats & Small – through their mutual friend, Boyzone star Keith Duffy.
She adds, “I still like all the things I liked before – I like glam clothes, I like sexy underwear, I like to be noticed by men. I like slow dancing and smooching in a dark nightclub with my man. My sex life with Ben is the same as when we first got together. It hasn’t lessened in frequency, intensity or excitement. I’m incredibly lucky that I’ve got a handsome partner who is 10 years younger than me, is hot as hell and desires me. He has great big shoulders, powerful arms and smells fabulous. I just really fancy him!”
The star recently admitted that she felt it was “her duty” to wear sexy underwear, and reveals the pair help keep the spark alive by sending racy text messages to each other and being spontaneous.
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Jaipur
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“We’ve no kids in the house now, so we can do it whenever and wherever we want. And we do!” she laughs. “We don’t schedule in sex – I couldn’t think of a more deadly passion killer. I’ve been with Ben for 16 years now – if we had the same sexual pattern and did the same thing every time we had sex, that would be the perfect way to put ourselves right off the whole thing.”
While the pair got engaged in 2006, Vanessa has previously admitted she’s in no rush to tie the knot, and laughs as she describes the inventive ways they have kept up the passion over the years.
“I feel very lucky to be with Ben,” she says. “He’s in a boyband (Boyz On The Block) and I love seeing his energy and sexuality as he’s hurtling about the stage. I think it’s important to keep a sexual climate going, you can inject a bit of naughtiness into the most ordinary things.”
Laughing, she adds, “I was peeling the vegetables for dinner one day – and ended up leaving a trail of celery and leeks for him, leading to me, spreadeagled on the bed in what I hoped was an alluring position!”
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Vanessa, who appears as This Morning’s agony aunt and has jokingly teased she was thinking of joining racy adult website, Only Fans, adds, “You don’t always have to be sensible with sex – sometimes we indulge in the living room in front of the fire. It’s not always the most comfortable, but somehow it feels sexier. The firelight flickering on the buttocks is a bit more flattering as well! Sometimes I will come home from work feeling bedraggled and wrung out and Ben will look at me like I’m some object of desire! It’s extraordinary!
"I’m only human – part of me thinks sex is the last thing I want to do, but part of me feels it’s a fabulous thing that’s on offer and the second we get cracking, I’m really going to enjoy it. More often than not I tend to go for it if it’s on offer – I just think it’s a real shame not to. Take it as a blessing!”
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Vanessa has admitted to battling with her weight over the years, and transformed her figure after shedding almost 4st, going from a size 18 to a 14. In 2010, she had a gastric band operation but later found it had “slipped” out of position and left her unable to keep food down without being sick.
Surgeons later advised her to have gastric bypass surgery in 2019, and she’s been able to keep the weight off ever since. But she says Ben has helped give her the confidence to love herself, no matter what her size.
“When I started going out with Ben, I used to hide behind plant pots to make myself look thinner as I was body conscious,” she admits.
“But he told me he loved my voluptuous shape and didn’t want me to be thinner. I wouldn’t say being thinner or fatter has made me less or more confident when it comes to sex– if you’re with a partner who fancies you, that’s what is crucial. Great sex can be had no matter what your age. Why wouldn’t it? It’s not like you can’t climax or orgasm – if you can, then it’s great. If you’re sexually switched on and you find someone who still turns you on, then go for it!”
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