Holly Willoughby’s shock confession: ‘Angry rows with my husband were scary’

They have always appeared to have a blissful family life and a picture-perfect marriage together.

But This Morning presenter Holly Willoughby has revealed that it’s not all plain sailing for her and TV producer husband- of-14-years Dan Baldwin. After more than a decade with each other – and since being on a “journey of self- discovery” in recent years, after confessing last week that her drive to be “perfect” had left her feeling “detached from reality” – she admits she now finds it cathartic to “shout” and “get angry” during blazing rows.

Speaking at An Evening With Holly Willoughby in London last week, to promote her new lifestyle and wellness brand Wylde Moon, Holly, 40, surprised fans with her shock confessions as she told them that, instead of giving Dan the silent treatment if something is wrong in their relationship, like she used to, she now prefers to “rip the band-aid off”.

“What I’ve found is that, a lot of the time, we like to stay in the safe middle ground, where everything is nice and smiley and nothing is ugly,” Holly said.

“But when I started to reconnect [with my emotions], I found I was getting angry all the time. And Dan’s like, ‘I wish you could not be so angry’. So I would be getting really angry, and he would be like, ‘I’m not sure this is good.’”

Yet Holly, who shares three children – Harry, 12, Belle, 10, and Chester, seven – with Dan, 46, says she’s now learned that rows have actually helped their marriage to remain solid.

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She said, “It was scary and frightening [at first], but I thought, ‘Let’s just stick with it and see where it goes’. And now I love it! Because talking through your problems can take you months or weeks, but in a hot flash of anger, you’ll shout something, and rip the band-aid off. You don’t have to be afraid of it or be scared by it.”

In her memoir Reflections – which came out earlier this month – Holly also gave an account of these rages, saying, “If I’m watching something on TV and my husband suddenly asks, ‘Why are you watching this s**t?’ it’ll spark something deep inside and I will get disproportionately angry about it.”

Having met in 2004 when Holly was presenting ITV’s Ministry Of Mayhem, a show Dan produced, the couple married at the luxury Amberley Castle in Sussex in 2007. But the mum of three has since admitted that marriage isn’t a fairy tale.

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“You’re an idiot if you think you just get married and then you tick along happily ever after for the rest of your life,” Holly previously revealed. “Marriage is something we have to work at.”

And speaking last week, Holly added, “My husband says to me, ‘You’d organise the fun out of anything’ because I do, I literally do. It’s terrible! He is a ‘live in the moment’ kind of guy.”

However, despite their differences, Holly has confessed the couple share a sizzling chemistry, and play “saucy games” in the bedroom.

She said, “I’m not a foot fetishist or anything, and I do enjoy saucy games with my hubby, but I have found the best way to break in new shoes is to wear them during sex.”

It’s no wonder her lockdown project, Wylde Moon, is set to earn her millions as her followers strive to emulate her style and happy family life.

As Closer reported last week, Holly has been preparing for life after This Morning, with Alison Hammond and Dermot O’Leary rumoured to be lined up to replace her and fellow presenter Phillip Schofield. Holly’s reps denied she is leaving the show, but insiders said she is “secretly relieved” that, when she does leave, she will be able to focus on her new projects, as well as making room for quality family time.

The launch of her new wellness website stemmed from a change in her perspective on life after filming I’m A Celeb! in Australia alongside Declan Donnelly in 2018, when Ant McPartlin was taking a career break following his drink-driving crash and an addiction to prescription pills.

Holly says being away from her family, who remained in the UK, for a number of weeks for the first time turned into a “time of reflection” as she began exploring her spiritual side, learning about crystal healing and meditation.

She said, “Through this wonderful kinesiologist [a therapist who studies body movements and their meaning] called Josie, I really started to unlock pieces of myself and when I came back to England, I knew that I didn’t want to stop everything I’d learned.”

Holly has also admitted that lockdown had forced her to stop and evaluate her life and, after turning 40 in February, she’s now focused more than ever on creating the future she wants – months on from an acrimonious split from her former agency YMU, which has left her with the freedom to pursue the projects she loves.

And last week, Holly added, “I’ve had a breakthrough, and now it’s not an option for me not to be myself. In my 30s, I knew something was missing but I didn’t know what it was. And it was me – I was missing, that’s what it was. I’ve had to get to know myself again and I’m learning to do that.”

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‘Anger can be healthy in a relationship – but there’s a limit’

Psychologist and relationship expert Noel McDermott says, “Anger is healthy in a relationship – to a degree. Anger is how we communicate our boundaries and emotions, and it can open up a pathway to solving issues or having conversations that need to be had. Just like exercise – in particular boxing – is a great way to relieve stress and help you think about issues, anger in a relationship can be a positive thing.

“However, there’s a limit and a balance, and I think it becomes unhealthy if it’s all the time. It shouldn’t be a go-to response or emotion. If you look at your partner and feel anger, it’s not right. I think you’d need to look at how often these angry rows are happening to determine whether or not it’s healthy – perhaps look back over a three-month period and think about how regularly they occur. Perhaps seek counselling or re-evaluate the relationship if it’s more often than not.”