As the clocks go forward this weekend and we lose an hour of sleep (but gain much more sunlight), our sleeping habits are at the forefront of our mind. But it’s not just the clocks changing that impacts our sleeping habits, there are many factors that can cause restless nights. As part of Amazon’s Chatterbox series, Closer has spoken to behaviour expert and relationship coach Jo Hemmings who has given her rules on how to get the perfect night’s sleep and what to do when it comes to issues such as snoring partners, pets in the bed, and sleeping in separate rooms.
Create a Comfortable Sleep Environment
Ensure your bedroom is conducive to quality sleep. Invest in a comfortable mattress and pillows, control the room temperature, and minimise noise and light disturbances. If you and your partner have different sleep preferences, find ways to accommodate both. This might involve using a duvet with different togs on each side, changing the firmness of the mattress, or even considering separate beds if necessary (former TOWIE star Ferne McCann says separate beds is the key to her and Lorri Haines' relationship).
Separate Beds
I really want to reiterate that sleeping in separate beds or bedrooms should be a last resort for couples. It’s not just the physical intimacy, it’s all the things you miss out on when you’re lying in bed together. The closeness you have before you go to sleep or when you wake up in the morning is something you just won’t get when you’re in separate rooms. I think it’s robbing you of a certain amount of quality time, particularly in our busy lives. When couples go to bed and lie down, that's when you have your best conversations - even if that’s just talking about your day, these are things that matter. And I think what is worrying long term is that you miss all of that. But it can have a positive impact on your own sleep environment so you need to weigh everything up.
Communication is Key
Dealing with a partner who keeps you up at night is hard but it has to be confronted. Talk to your partner about how their actions are affecting your sleep. Choose a calm and non-confrontational time to discuss the issue. Use ‘I’ statements. Open and honest communication is crucial. Discuss each other's sleep preferences, habits, and any concerns. Be willing to compromise and find solutions together. Pinpoint specific behaviours or habits that are causing the disturbance. It could be snoring, tossing and turning, or using electronic devices late at night. Understanding the root cause helps in finding solutions.
Less Screen Time and Stimulants Before Bed
Avoid using electronic devices such as smartphones or tablets before bedtime. It may sound obvious but most of us are guilty of it. The blue light emitted by screens can interfere with the production of the sleep hormone melatonin and if one partner is using their phone or tablet, it can interfere with both sleep and intimacy. Avoid consuming stimulants like caffeine, alcohol, nicotine or recreational drugs before bedtime as well as heavy meals. This can all interfere with the ability to fall asleep or stay asleep.
Managing Stress
Practice stress-reducing techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or progressive muscle relaxation to help you and your partner unwind before bedtime. Also, if issues such as a partner snoring is stressing you out, consider using earplugs, white noise machines, or exploring remedies for snoring to help eliminate that stress.
Pets in the Bed
Couples should discuss their preferences and comfort levels regarding having a pet in the bed. Some people find it reassuring and comforting to have their pet with them, while others may prefer a pet-free bed for reasons such as allergies, intimacy, or personal space. If you decide to allow your pet in the bed, it's essential to set boundaries.
Consider using pet-friendly bedding, grooming your pet regularly, and training them to understand the rules of the bed, such as staying in a specific area. If having a pet in the bed becomes problematic, consider providing the pet with a comfortable bed nearby. This way, the pet can still be close without disrupting your sleep.
Jo was speaking as part of new research carried out by Amazon’s Chatterbox series, which is designed to create a barometer of opinions among one of the UK’s most diverse workplaces.