Genuinely one of the biggest perks of working at Closer online (aside from free mags on tap and the occasional boujie PR party) is that during Love Island season the vast majority of the dumped Islanders find their way to our offices for a tea-spilling chinwag and to film a couple of TikTok vids as the Gen Zs in the office keep reminding us its 2024. In our minds its still 2005.
The first dumped 2024 Islanders to pay us a visit were the absolutely lovely Patsy Field and Munveer Jabbal – and just so you know, both Islanders are even more gorgeous IRL and Love Island barely scratched the surface of their personalities. Beauts, both of them.
For example, after ten minutes with Patsy, we can confirm that she is a hilarious tea-spilling legend who cannot be stopped once the tea starts pouring.
During a chat about Islanders snoring in the communal bedroom, in which Munveer said, "Snoring just drives me crazy...you can't sleep when you hear someone [snoring]," Patsy named and shamed one of the girls as the biggest snorer, but described her as a "sexy snorer".
We'll let Patsy explain, because, honestly, it befuddled us too when she was dishing the dirt this morning.
The dumped Islander revealed, "Bless her, hopefully she won't mind me saying this, but Samantha [Kenny] was a snorer, but she was a sexy snorer. I actually shared a bed with her once when they separated the girls and boys. She is a sexy snorer."
Patsy then did an imitation of Samantha's "sexy snore" and, frankly, it's just impossible to transcribe, but basically, she fakes a sweet delicate snore and then makes what we can only describe as orgasmic squeal.
Speaking of Samantha's unique bedtime habit, she added, "I don't know whether this is p*ssing me off or turning me on."
It's safe to say Munveer didn't see the sexy side of Samantha's snoring, adding, "Samantha was the worst snorer, but I wouldn't call it a sexy snore."
Well, that's our first question for Samantha sorted then... or maybe our first question for Joey Essex.
Patsy and Munveer were dumped from the villa after producers made their fellow Islander choose a girl and a boy to go home. The pair – who found an initial spark together in the early days of the show – were sent home on day 10.
Patsy also spilled the tea on some rather smelly poos in the Love Island (Samantha was not the culprit this time, we should add), so on this very average hump day, we ask you: what is the bigger 'ick', sexy snoring or smelly poos? We should've really asked Patsy that, shouldn't we?