One of my friend's life's ambitions, no word of a lie, is to appear in the society pages of Cheshire Life magazine (sort of Hello! for the North).
To further that ambition, he should 100% book himself into The Spa at Carden, the county's newly renovated and extremely boujee facility.
Not that paps will be allowed in there, I'm sure, but we could absolutely imagine the cream of Cheshire society, The Real Housewives of Cheshire cast, dropping in for the day.
And once he and e.g. Tanya Bardsley have bonded over a glass of Bolly in the outdoor hot tubs, all of Cheshire's party scene would be my friend's for the taking....
We went for a spa day. Here's what we thought.
Facilities at The Spa at Carden
Facilities include: a vitality pool, heated relaxation beds, a Finnish sauna, bio sauna, ice fountain, experience showers, salt steam room and a tepidarium. Phew.
The whole spa is huge, sparkling clean and stylish. The restaurant and some of the relaxation rooms have views out over the lush, Cheshire countryside, and - of course - the garden.
Outdoor facilities and garden at The Spa at Carden
The garden and outdoor facilities are huge and numerous. There's a sauna with floor to ceiling windows in the grounds, plus three hot tubs, an outdoor vitality pool, warmed pods to sit in, and a bar. Relaxing with a drink is very much encouraged.
We visited in early March and people were hanging out in the garden, this is the North after all, but it will be absolutely banging in the summer, especially with the piped chill-out tunes giving it a real holiday feel.
"It's like a little piece of heaven," said a fellow guest to us.
And we can see her point.
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Treatments at The Spa at Carden
There's a huge variety of treatments available, from eyebrow tints to facials. But for real indulgence, it's got to be a massage, right?
We went for the five element aroma massage which was, no word of a lie, among the best massages we've ever had. It really felt like the therapist, Rachel, cared and we left feeling relaxed, pampered and very zen. Can we have one every day please?
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Food at The Spa at Carden
We were welcomed to our spa day with complimentary hot drinks, fruit and pastries. We indulged in them all, because why wouldn't you?
The restaurant overlooks the green, green, grounds we keep banging on about. It's a good looking room with turquoise chairs or sofas to lounge in, and wearing your robe for eating lunch is very much encouraged.
We chose from a light-lunch menu and had haddock fishcakes plus a coconut parfait that we'd happily eat for dessert twice a day. If you can think of higher praise tell us and we'll use it.
In fact, we'd happily return to The Spa at Carden twice a week (day?) if we could. Next time, maybe we'll take our friend with ambitions on Cheshire Life with us too.