One of my friend's life's ambitions, no word of a lie, is to appear in the society pages of Cheshire Life magazine (sort of Hello! for the North).
To further that ambition, he should 100% book himself into The Spa at Carden, the county's newly renovated and extremely boujee facility.
Not that paps will be allowed in there, I'm sure, but we could absolutely imagine the cream of Cheshire society, The Real Housewives of Cheshire cast, dropping in for the day.
And once he and e.g. Tanya Bardsley have bonded over a glass of Bolly in the outdoor hot tubs, all of Cheshire's party scene would be my friend's for the taking....
We went for a spa day. Here's what we thought.
Facilities at The Spa at Carden
Facilities include: a vitality pool, heated relaxation beds, a Finnish sauna, bio sauna, ice fountain, experience showers, salt steam room and a tepidarium. Phew.
The whole spa is huge, sparkling clean and stylish. The restaurant and some of the relaxation rooms have views out over the lush, Cheshire countryside, and - of course - the garden.
Outdoor facilities and garden at The Spa at Carden
The garden and outdoor facilities are huge and numerous. There's a sauna with floor to ceiling windows in the grounds, plus three hot tubs, an outdoor vitality pool, warmed pods to sit in, and a bar. Relaxing with a drink is very much encouraged.
We visited in early March and people were hanging out in the garden, this is the North after all, but it will be absolutely banging in the summer, especially with the piped chill-out tunes giving it a real holiday feel.
"It's like a little piece of heaven," said a fellow guest to us.
And we can see her point.
CHECK OUT: the best sheet masks for a DIY facial
We may earn a commission for purchases made through our links
Best Sheet Masks 2021 - Grazia
1 of 6Revitale 24K Gold Face Mask (Pack of Three)
The best for skin contouringInfused with collagen, 24k Gold Face Masks hydrate, nourish and firm. They're also packed with hyaluronic acid which will leave your skin naturally dewy.
£6.49
2 of 6Nip+Fab Glycolic Extreme Bubble Sheet Mask
The best for dull skinThe powerful formula is enriched with 2% Glycolic acid to smooth and retexture skin. The mask removes dead skin cells and dirt to reveal a bright and radiant complexion.
3 of 6Dr. Jart Mask Sheet Set (Pack of Six)
The best for skincare junkiesDr. Jart sheet masks are cult for a reason, as they DELIVER. The pack contains a mask for hydration, clearing, brightening and minimising pores - the perfect addition to any beauty addict's arsenal.
4 of 6Bubu Hydrating Face Sheet Mask
The best for dry skinA glittering infusion of natural antioxidants and vitamins, combined with Hyaluronic Acid and Liquorice Root, delivering a powerful shot of hydration - perfect for thirsty skin.
5 of 6Garnier Moisture Bomb Pomegranate Hydrating Face Sheet Mask (Pack of Five)
The best all-rounder on a budgetGarnier Moisture sheet masks are each infused with half a bottle of serum, meaning you get serious bang for your buck. Fresh and thirst-quenching, the mask will leave skin looking smoother and radiant in just 15 minutes.
6 of 6Starskin Red Carpet Ready Hydrating Mask
The best for pre-event pamperingBe it a party, a date night or a zoom call, this face mask will leave you with the best skin of your life. The mask deeply rehydrates, smoothes and rejuvenates the skin with a powerful serum complex.
Read more
Lauren Goodger launches new fake tan - and fans are hoping it's as iconic as the original
Treatments at The Spa at Carden
There's a huge variety of treatments available, from eyebrow tints to facials. But for real indulgence, it's got to be a massage, right?
We went for the five element aroma massage which was, no word of a lie, among the best massages we've ever had. It really felt like the therapist, Rachel, cared and we left feeling relaxed, pampered and very zen. Can we have one every day please?
Watch: Love Island makeover transformation inspired by Amber Gill
Food at The Spa at Carden
We were welcomed to our spa day with complimentary hot drinks, fruit and pastries. We indulged in them all, because why wouldn't you?
The restaurant overlooks the green, green, grounds we keep banging on about. It's a good looking room with turquoise chairs or sofas to lounge in, and wearing your robe for eating lunch is very much encouraged.
We chose from a light-lunch menu and had haddock fishcakes plus a coconut parfait that we'd happily eat for dessert twice a day. If you can think of higher praise tell us and we'll use it.
In fact, we'd happily return to The Spa at Carden twice a week (day?) if we could. Next time, maybe we'll take our friend with ambitions on Cheshire Life with us too.
Spa day experiences at The Spa at Carden start at £95 per person for a garden experience day.