Feisty, incredibly smart and straight talking, Vanessa Feltz has been a divisive character throughout her three decades in the spotlight.
But recently the radio and TV presenter, 61, has sparked criticism for her behaviour on C4’s Celebs Go Dating, which has seen her accused of snapping at the dating show’s agents, Anna Williamson and Paul Carrick Brunson, and belittling her dates by ignoring them or mocking their jobs.
While Vanessa, 61, has lashed out, saying, “I didn’t join this process to be assassinated by the agents”, some viewers have hit back, calling the mum-of-two “arrogant” and “rude”.
One posted, “Vanessa has been carried away with her self-importance”, while another added, “I found her very arrogant, rude and not interested in dating anyone”.
But Vanessa’s daughter, Saskia Joss, has opened up to share a different side to her mum, telling Closer that Vanessa – who split from her ex Ben Ofoedu in January – has been unfairly portrayed.
Saskia, 34, says, “People have seen this bolshy, opinionated woman and, while she can be like that, she’s also the sweetest, kindest, most optimistic person I’ve ever met. She has hardness and passion, but she’s also the softest person on the inside. She’s really upset by the comments because she is so invested in people who have been a fan of hers over the years and she’s upset at how she’s been portrayed.”
Her appearance on CGD follows her split from fiancé, Ben, 51, after claims he’d been unfaithful – despite Vanessa frequently sharing details of their adventurous sex life. He later confessed that he had been “sexting” another woman.
The couple had been together for 16 years, with Vanessa revealing that her recent weight loss is down to being “too heartbroken to eat anything”.
Vanessa was also previously married to Saskia’s father, surgeon Michael Kurer, with whom she shares another daughter, Allegra, 37, for 17 years before divorcing in 2000. She has previously revealed how she “begged” Michael to stay when he walked out on their family one night with no explanation, only for Vanessa to discover he had had numerous affairs. He later admitted to cheating and revealed he had regrets.
Now Saskia says that after being left heartbroken and betrayed, Vanessa is understandably feeling vulnerable. She says, “Mum has had a really tough time of it this year. It’s just been a horrible, scary and very public heartbreak, and she’s been deeply lonely. She’s been incredibly brave going on this show – she hasn’t dated for 17 years.
“When she was approached, I told her to go for it, and that I thought there would be no real jeopardy. I thought it could only be a positive experience and I know of people set up on First Dates who got married and had a baby, so I thought Channel 4’s match-making skills would be excellent. I said, ‘Go for it’ because I didn’t think there’d be any nastiness or trickery or anything complicated.”
However, Vanessa – who stars on the show alongside Lottie Moss and Chloe Burrows – masked her vulnerability, revealing that she felt she had been “flawless”, “delightful” and “charming” on her dates, but added, “The people they lined me up with weren’t worthy of my charms”.
During one date with Richard from Manchester, who makes smoked salmon for a living, Vanessa looked at her phone throughout before getting up and leaving before he had finished his meal.
In another, she accused the agents of setting her up with an “identikit” of Ben, and tells Paul, “It’s not hard to dissect [my feelings]. I explained it clearly to you, you should have understood the first time.”
Saskia says, “It was a harsh edit. I understand they want to make good TV. But they haven’t used the charming, lovely side of my mum, but have instead waited until she’s been exasperated to show that side.
“Mum is the kindest, most polite person. She is the most wonderful grandmother to my kids and my sister’s children. They seem to have missed her sweetness and generosity of spirit, and just portrayed her hardness.
“They also only show around two minutes of a two-hour date. Mum is actually obsessed with manners, and wouldn’t dream of getting her phone out at the table unless it was an urgent work matter. Of course, she is tough. But to have been successful for three decades in this industry, you have to have a bit of an edge.”
And Saskia believes it’s also Vanessa’s position as an older woman dating that is behind the backlash. She says, “I do also think the criticism has come from Mum being a 61-year-old woman on the dating scene. There’s a lot of expectation – when Chloe or Lottie walked out of their dates, no one commented on that being rude. They’re younger and there seems to be a different level of expectation.”
Vanessa is also starring on the show alongside former Love Island star Adam Collard. And Saskia says that while her mum has been unlucky in love, she’s made some solid friendships – with Lothario Adam, 27, even comforting her through the trolling.
She says, “A wonderful thing to come from the show is the friendships she’s made – particularly with Adam. They message all the time! He texted her sort of consoling her, saying, ‘Don’t worry, the haters are all part of this world’. He’s been a real support to her and it’s really sweet to see.”
She adds, “All of this hasn’t put her off dating. Fundamentally, she just wants to be loved and she has so much love to give, and she deserves happiness. She needs someone kind, clever, capable and successful, who can keep up with her. She’ll keep looking for her man.”
