Although our hearts are ecstatic that The Great British Bake Off has finally returned to our screens for series six, our nervous systems feels somewhat differently about the show's return.
As much as we adore Bake Off and everyone involved in it (we're looking at you Prue), we don't religiously watch this show to relax after a long day of writing about Bake Off. No. We watch Bake Off to stare longingly at cake, biscuits, bread, hunky bakers, Prue Leith's jewellery and Noel Fielding's shirts. Everything else – literally everything – fuels our anxiety to the nth degree. Year after year, our nervous system goes through the roof at the tiniest mishaps inside that dreaded tent. Forget about the big stuff (like not turning on the oven *cough cough Abdul cough cough* or witnessing the collapse of a dilapidated biscuit tower before the judges' judgemental eyes.
Don't get us wrong, it's possibly one of our favourite shows of all time, but Bake Off isn't exactly an easy watch, is it? If we're not on the same page right now, we're assuming you tend to spike your rum and raisin cake a little too hard on Tuesday evenings – and maybe we need to try that.
We're telling you right now, that when we die, we're going to end up in that tent and everything is going to go wrong for ever and ever and we'll never get that Paul Hollywood handshake. Amen.
If you have the nerve to commit to this, enjoy some of The Great British Bake Off's greatest ever cake fails – we certainly won't.
CHECK OUT: The Great British Bake Off's greatest fails
Bake Off's biggest fails
1 of 10abdul-oven-bake-off
Oh, Abdul. We're secretly quite excited that we couldn't find a clip of this most recent Bake Off fail, because quite frankly, we just don't want to relive it. Forgetting to turn on the oven in the Bake Off tent is right up there with dropping your cake at Paul Hollywood's feet and then smacking in the chin with the back of your head as you frantically pick it back up again; admittedly the former is far less messy and painful, but it's enough to send even the calmest of bakers well and truly over the edge. Poor electronics engineer Abdul (from the current series - Bake Off series 6) forgot to turn on the oven during cake week (CAKE WEEK!) – worst of all, 40 minutes had passed before he realised his mistake. The memes have been writing themselves ever since. Bless. Miraculously, Abdul survived this truly epic Bake Off fail.
2 of 10Bin Gate
This is a big statement but we stand by it: there has not been a more tense moment on Bake Off since 2014, when series five (back when it was on the BBC) contestant Iain Watters was left with no choice but to throw his entire Baked Alaska in the bin after Diana Beard removed it from the freezer in order to make room for her own. Iain was left with nothing to present to the judges and Diana left the show weeks later amid "health issues".
3 of 10Rude biscuit
Back in 2018, viewers were left in stitches when baker Dan Beasley-Harling attempted a touching portrait of himself meeting his new surrogate baby during biscuit week. Sadly, viewers (and the judges) didn't exactly see what he saw and the moment went down in history as one of the show's biggest fails (a funny one, though).
If you can't see it, then you have cleaner minds than we do.
4 of 10Krishnan Guru-Murthy on SU2C
On 2019's Stand Up 2 Cancer Bake Off Special, esteemed Channel 4 newsreader Krishnan Guru-Murthy lost his characteristic cool when his lemon drizzle cake ended up as more of a crumble, thanks to the 'help' of host Sandy Toksvig.
5 of 10Custard-gate
An oldie but a goodie, one of the show's classic fails has to be when a prolific desert thief in the form of 2013 contestant Deborah Manger STOLE the custard Howard Middleton had made for his own pud. Then-host Sue Perkins called it "either a terrible error or the most incredible case of baking espionage".
6 of 10Freddie Cakemare
This episode in 2020 was frankly FULL of the most hilarious bakes, with bakers tasked with making 3D busts of famous faces. Among the fails was a David Bowie and Blink-182's Tom DeLonge (who later paid homage on his own social media), but Laura's chinless Freddie Mercury one really took the cake (sorry).
7 of 10Pineapple Upside Down cake-gate
Another glorious fail from the 2020 series; who could forget when Sura Selvarajah accidentally knocked Dave Friday's pineapple upside down cakes off the table moments before presenting them during the technical challenge? Sura was DEVASTATED but Dave went on to place runner up, so all is well that ends well.
Not for us, though. We still remember pouring an extra large pinot over this one. Mind you, that was during lockdown, so wine was pretty much a hobby.
8 of 10Rosie's toppled custard tart
Poor Rosie Brandreth-Poynter. Her 1920's inspired custard tart in the 2019 series was looking so good, until her shaking hands meant one layer slid off the oven tray as she was assembling it in the final stages and ended up "unsalvageable" on the floor.
9 of 10KSI's cherry pie attempt
Another SU2C classic, YouTuber and rapper KSI was left red-faced during his attempt at making a cherry pie in 2021. It wasn't exactly going well to begin with, but when he upended his cake tin onto his stand jam-side-down (as you would for a sponge) it was game over.
10 of 10Maggie's sticky toffee 'puddings'
We've all been there - but forgetting to add flour to your bakes isn't the kind of mistake you should be making in the famous Bake Off tent. When 2021 contestant Maggie forgot to add this KIND OF essential ingredient to her sticky toffee puds in dessert week, she tried to play them off as "gluten free" versions. Sadly, it wasn't enough and she lost her place on the show.