(FYI: this list comes with a SPOILER alert!)
Orange is the New Black Season 3 is now back on Netflix. Laverne Cox (aka the totally fabulous Sophia Burset) has revealed the one thing she would smuggle into prison is a wig, and Red’s business selling everything from cigarettes to hair gel thrived. So we’ve listed the essentials we couldn’t survive a stint without.. not that we would ever find ourselves in that situation. Or encourage lipstick smuggling…
A book (RIP Litchfield library)
Those long hours would drive even the sanest of us crazy, and it’s not like we can check our phones for the latest celeb gossip. Anything for a few hours of escapism- we all know what happened to Poussey’s treasured book supply...
Hair straighteners
We do not want to sink to Morello’s loo roll turned hair curler shaped lows, and would sneak in our mini hair straighteners. You just don’t know who you may bump into in there, eh?
Eyelash curlers
With all those restless nights on lumpy mattresses alongside potential snoring and sleep-talking inmates, we’d need something to help our puffy eyes.
A 2-in-1 toothpaste and toothbrush
Who says these travel toothbrushes are just for kids? Toiletries cost money in the slammer, and who wants to have bad breath during visiting hours? And you definitely don’t want to end up with a set of gnashers like Pennasatucky pre-tooth job. :-/
Sweet snacks
Sweets and chocolate are hard to come by in the joint. We would allow ourselves one little treat every night to give us something to look forward to... but avoid anything with too much sugar unless, of course, you’ve managed to sneak in above mentioned toothbrush...
Tweezers
Now you don’t want to go getting carried away with the old tweezers (or you’ll end up with over-arched eyebrows like Alex) but think how useful they are. Self-defence? Sorted. Stray facial hair? Not a problem. Just make sure the guards don’t catch you!
Hot Sauce
Remember when Taystee yearns for hot sauce to season the prison food? No one likes bland food. (Sorry Red, but even you can’t make it look that appealing).
Onesie
Okay, maybe we are getting carried away- but remember the dreaded bin bag dresses when there was the bedbug epidemic? No siree.
Earplugs
Small and easy to hide, this will get you through the earlier-mentioned, Rosa-level snorefest.
Flip flops
Think back to when Piper uses sanitary pads to make flip flops? No honey, just no.
Read more OITNB here:
Prison beauty hacks: the best OITNB inspired tips and tricks