Fans praise Vicky Pattison for ‘real’ selfie

Vicky Pattison

by Daisy Jordan |
Updated on

Vicky Pattison never has a hair out of place.

The former Geordie Shore star's Instagram is awash with flawless selfies and more often than not shows off her picture-perfect life of celebrity parties and professional photoshoots.

But the reality TV personality has vowed to be more 'real' with followers and began with an honest selfie.

Posting a make-up free snap, Vicky began, "I was scrolling through my Instagram earlier (vapid I know) and I was disappointed with what I saw. It was awash with glossy images, campaign pictures and ads.

"Don’t get me wrong- I like to post pictures like that, every now and then it’s lovely to see how nice you can look when you’ve made a real effort (or in my case a whole team of people have made an effort) with your appearance. And makeup, hair extensions, tan and nails are a big part of who I am- but they aren’t my reality- not most of the time anyway.

"Unless I’m filming, shooting or at an event I wear gym gear, I will not wear a scrap of make up, my hair will be up in a little bun and I am more often than not a bit spotty and pale and usually pulling a silly face."

GALLERY: Vicky Pattison's greatest moments


Vicky Pattison's greatest moments

Vicky anal bleaching1 of 13

Vicky anal bleaching

Only Vicky sees that anal bleaching is daft “I’m just here to offer my support,” she explains, brusque as Mary Poppins, while Charlotte squeezes her hands tightly and tries not to think about having the better part of bottle of Toilet Duck shoved up her bumhole.

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Vicky Ricci proposal

Vicky gets a plane proposal While it lasted, Vicky and Ricci’s love was hotter than a kebab that had been left out in the sun. They were a modern day Burton/Taylor, or, for our older readers, Same Difference. And because subtlety is for goons, Ricci asked her with a massive banner.

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Screen Shot 2014-10-29 at 12.25.58

Vicky attacks a girl with a shoe This wasn’t great, but then who hasn’t looked at their heels and thought “I could really take someone out with these!”? We all went on a journey together, and learned violence never solves anything. Also, you’re less likely to lash out at someone when you’re wearing Converse.

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Vicky is a good friend

Vicky is a good friend□ □We know Vicky does not ship Gaz and Chaz, to the point of being a metaphorical ship sinking iceberg. But she loves Charlotte enough to hang out in the loos with her and cuddle her when she has an early, regrettable intimate encounter with Mr Beadle. Little did Vicky know that Charlotte would be seeing more of Gaz’s underpants than the local launderette.

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Vicky learns Spanish

Vicky speaks Spanish.“All you've got to say when you're in Mexico is 'dos Jaegerbomb por favour' or 'dos vodka red bull por favour”. That is Vicky Pattison’s entire guide to Cancun.

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Vicky relationshipn counsellor

Vicky is a relationship counselor It did not take our girl long to get frustrated with the Crosby/Beadle union, that was permanently threatening to come asunder. “Charlotte and Gaz are having another f**king argument about one of them pulling. In other shocking news water is wet.” She has such a lovely turn of phrase – we understand why she finds Shakespeare inspirational. "They're like Romeo and Juliet... if Romeo was a TWAT!" There you go.

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Vicky Gaz shag pad prophecy

Vicky thinks consistency is for idiots Vicky has always made it clear that to her, Gaz has less erotic appeal than a wet sack of kale with a face drawn on it. But eventually she got drunk and bored enough to drag him to the shag pad. Vicky is the patron saint of all our regrettable Christmas party conquests.

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Vicky looks good in green The slackers of Made In Chelsea might get offices and interns, but in the old days, La Pattison had to hustle for dollar while dressed as a giant Fruit Pastille.

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Vicky bus proposal

Vicky is fun on bus journeys “I've had marriage proposals, I've had c*** in my face!” beamed Vicky, who was making the most out of the mass transit systems of Newcastle, Australia. At this point, the bus had not left the terminal.

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Vicky tashing on

No-one tashes on like Vicky She’s swapped more saliva than a sneaky boy trading used Panini stickers. Vicky’s got the oral skills of a snake. One that supplements its diet of eggs with other, more docile snakes.

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Vicky bake off

Vicky ought to be on Bake Off "Has Gary got a chocolate c*** that I don't know about? Some sort of Battenburg bell***?" she mused, trying to figure out just what it is that leads an unprecedented number of women to the contents of Gaz’s trousers. Vicky needs to be in the next series of GBBO – we want to see Mary B dealing with this.

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Vicky sex face

Vicky is a sex siren Vicky is so good at the old rumpy whoopsy dance that a leading ‘sexpert’ confirmed her ‘arrival’ face expresses mad raunch skillz. We were not surprised.

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Screen Shot 2014-10-29 at 12.48.05

Vicky invented a new genre of reality telly – fourth dimension hyper reality All our Christmasses, and A Level theatre studies recollections, came at once, when Vicky smashed the fourth wall and went on a date with Kirk-Off-TOWIE. If she could only see her way clear to snogging Spencer Matthews, she might change ‘real’ life as we know it forever.


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Then she apologised to fans for being 'dishonest', adding, "This is me.. it seems as though I haven’t been honest with Instagram and you all recently and for that I apologise- it’s easy to get bogged down trying to compete with the unrealistic images of perfection that saturate social media- but it’s not real... this however is 😂🙈".

She then vowed to be "honest" on Instagram and promised "it won't happen again."

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Fans were quick to heap praise on Vicky for being real, with one follower writing, "She’s one reason why I love being a female.. we have her to prop us up as being the best and encourages everyone to be you and do you well!"

Another agreed, "As the mum of a teenage daughter this I have to say is a breathe of fresh air. When did getting ready to quickly pop into town turn into an hour (Maybe more sometimes) of prep work!!! It's all about the brows atm 😂. Only wish more celebs where a little more honest x".

That's why we love her!

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