Stacey Solomon has opened up about her experience with postnatal depression and admitted she feared she'd “never love her child” after giving birth at the young age of 18.
Although now a proud mum influencer to Zachary, 12, Leighton, eight, and Rex, one, things weren’t easy when she first became a teen mum with her eldest son.
Opening up she admitted, "I don't look back and regret anything because what's the point in that, it won't get me anywhere…
"But I definitely have moments now with Zachy where I think ‘Oh, I wish I loved you from the very minute'."
Speaking on the Mad World Podcast, she continued, "Not that I didn’t, I’m sure I did, I just didn’t feel it, and I didn’t get it. And it brings me tremendous guilt - especially when I love my other children when they're born, I love them and this is amazing - I immediately think: 'Wow, I was terrible when I had Zach'.
"But it is what it is, I can't change it - it's just the way I felt, it made me prepared every other time I've given birth.
"I was prepared to feel that way, and i knew it would pass - which is just the most comforting feeling, because when I was in it with Zach I genuinely thought: 'I'm never going to be happy again, and I'll never love my child' and it made me feel horrendous."
CHECK OUT: Stacey Solomon's cutest mummy moments
Stacey Solomon's CUTEST mummy moments - actual slider
1 of 14Stacey with her two sons at Disneyland
Stacey took Leighton and Zachary to Disneyland this summer.
2 of 14In the bath
Stacey received some backlash for taking baths with her sons, but she refused to change her parenting methods just to make some trolls happy.
3 of 14Holiday in Cyprus
The family enjoyed a holiday in Cyprus.
4 of 14Snuggled on the sofa
The Loose Woman recently reached out for advice, wondering at what age most parents are letting their kids have mobile phones.
5 of 14Family time
Joe got in on the action for this big family cuddle.
6 of 14The trio on a teacup
The three musketeers had a snap taken on a teacup ride at a theme park.
7 of 14Ben 10 fans
Stacey uploaded this adorable picture of her two lads dressed up as their favourite TV character - Ben 10.
8 of 14Matching pyjamas
How cute! We wish it was this easy to get kids to wear matching pyjamas...
9 of 14Sunny Southend
Stacey's fans were overjoyed that she had taken her children to visit Southend beach.
10 of 14Lazy Sundays
Stacey uploaded this super sweet snap of herself and Leighton enjoying a lazy Sunday lie-in.
11 of 14Birthday cake pops
Stacey and Leighton enjoyed some cute cake pops for his fifth birthday in May 2017.
12 of 14Meeting Mickey Mouse
The met Mickey Mouse on their trip to Disneyland.
13 of 14First day back at school
Even celebs get all mushy when they see their little 'uns going off to school.
14 of 14Yoga time!
They sure know how to have fun. Stacey, Leighton and Zachary enjoyed some relaxing yoga.
Stacey described how the same feelings began to arise with the birth of Rex in 2019, "When I had Rex I got exactly the same feelings, just gut-wrenching, deeply unhappy for no reason… I'm so happy but deeply unhappy and uncontrollably sobbing all the time.
"But at least I knew while I was going through that that I would come out of it, so there were positives to come out of that. But I really wish I didn't feel like that, but it's just who I am I suppose."
Stacey fell pregnant at 17 with now ex-boyfriend Dean Cox but they split before Zachary was born.
"I will always be a teenage mum from Dagenham. I was the girl on the bus with a baby and everyone was tutting at me - because I looked like a baby with a baby," she added on the podcast.
The former X Factor star then welcomed her second son Leighton, in 2012 with ex-fiancé Aaron Barham but they split in 2014. She's since been in a relationship with her soon-to-be-husband, the legendary Joe Swash, since 2015.
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Stacey has previously divulged to Closer magazine on the pressures of having children with different dads, stating, "I did feel guilty about having babies with different dads.
"I didn't want my kids to have a negative or confused upbringing. There's a stigma about having babies with different partners - I've definitely felt pressure from people - people I don't know, and even people I do know.
"Even those close to me have had their opinions on it, and that can hurt."
If you have been affected by the issues in this story, please contact Mind at 0300 123 3393