Speaking to a UK woman’s magazine, Nicole said: “Thinking about it I try not to well up… It is such a horrible paralysing disease and it was such a dark time for me.”
“That’s why I can empathise so much with people who have demons and voices in their heads, who aren’t nice to themselves. It robs you of living your life.”
![Nicole's eating disorder was worse during the height of The Pussycat Dolls' fame](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/71/9dab3/ec86c/cc4c9/8abca/ac964/7be55/pussycatdolls_646x363.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Nicole’s Pussycat Dolls bandmate Carmit Bacher revealed in 2013 that the former X Factor judge’s eating disorder led to tensions arising in the group- eventually contributing to the group’s demise.
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Carmit told the Mail Online: “Obviously people who have disorders like that are very good at hiding it… I feel stupid though not knowing. We were so close and I was shocked. I thought how could you hide that?”
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A year before, 36-year-old Nicole told VH1: “I never spoke about it, I never want to play a victim and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart.” “I guess it was like my addiction. I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction.”
![](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/fa/18d84/56c9b/aca17/c6027/56681/9a8b5/cosmo-nicole_466x466.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
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“It’s like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I’d come back to my room and I’d be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction.”
Nicole is currently working on her music following her exit from The X Factor. Her love life is also back on track following her reconciliation with formula one driver Lewis Hamilton.