Helping others can easy your own healing process
My younger brother, Jason Phillips, was shot dead in 2001 aged 22, in an unprovoked attack. He was such a beautiful boy and it was very shocking. After that happened, I met a lot of mothers who’d lost their kids in shootings and it really helped me heal. I believe that when you’re going through bad stuff, go and help someone who’s also gone through the same thing as you. It helps you heal, as well as them. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through what I’ve been through, but the pain makes you a more compassionate person.
See yourself as a work in progress
It’s really nice when you’re in your 50s and you love what you’re looking at. The difference now is that I feel really good. It’s not healthy to be obsessed with food or being a size 12 or 14, or whatever. Everything you do comes from how much you value yourself, but it’s a journey to get there. It’s not a one-day thing – you need to look at yourself as a work in progress. I’m still not there, but I’m better than where I was. When I was in my 20s, I used to beat myself up about everything, but I don’t do that any more.
Don't put your relationship before yourself
I’ve been single for four years and it’s the longest I’ve been by myself, but now I’ve learned to fall in love with myself. I’m a giver, so I’ve always put my relationships before myself, and that doesn’t work when it’s one-sided. I’ve had two serious relationships and I got my two beautiful children from them [Monet, 29, with her unnamed ex-husband, and Russia-Mae, 14, from a relationship with German film director Andreas Neumann]. But I realised I should look after myself for a while… so I shut down relationships for a while and did some self-work.
Do something outside your comfort zone
I wasn’t expecting to get the role of Ellie Nixon in EastEnders. I found out I got the part the day before lockdown and I had to wait four months before I could start filming so I was slightly nervous when I walked on set. My character is mean and hardcore. I’ve never played a baddie before and I absolutely loved doing something outside of my comfort zone. I’d never want to be like that in real life! They’ve had strong characters like Pat Butcher, but they’ve never really had someone like me before, so I really applaud EastEnders for creating the character.
Check out: EastEnders spoilers - Patrick Trueman's in grave danger
EastEnders spoilers: Patrick Trueman is left in grave danger - slider
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The week begins with Callum Highway's luck running out and Jack Branning is forced to deliver some bad news.
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When Ben Mitchell discovers the truth he'll lose everything but Jack makes it clear that his hands are tied.
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Later, Jack has some good news for Denise and sparks begin to fly but they're unaware that they're being watched from across the Square.
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Patrick's good intentions catch up with him and it leaves Denise furious and Patrick heartbroken. At the end of the week there's a knock at the door – Patrick is in grave danger….
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Ben finds himself in a tricky situation that ends at the police station – what's happened now?
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While Stacey turns on Ruby and about Kush, Martin sticks up for his wife. Arthur Fowler answers Ruby's call and mentions they're going on a plane which leaves Stacey confused.
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However Kush ends the call by telling Stacey if she calls the police, she'll never see her son again.
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A distressed Kush makes a call to someone else – has he found a way to solve his problem after all?
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Ruby is left shocked and has to come up with an explanation for Martin. She later makes a snap admission in an attempt to keep Martin close, while Martin is inspired by Stacey's strength.
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Sonia continues to have a hard time at work, so Ash Panesar checks in to see if she's okay but Sonia rushes off, shaken. Later, following an insensitive comment, Sonia finally crumbles home alone.
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Sonia snaps yet again at an unsuspecting Jay Brown following another difficult shift at the hospital, Ash reminds her that it's important she looks after herself and takes a break.
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Sonia and Martin share their separate woes.
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Meanwhile Gray tells Karen Taylor that he wants his kids back for good.
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And Linda hopes she's made the right decision.
Make healthy decisions for your wellbeing
My weight has yo-yoed for a long time. Three years ago, I was coming up to 50, and I suddenly thought, “That’s it, you need to get it together.” So I lost 2st and went from a size 16 to my current size 12. I was drinking a lot and cooking rich foods and it was too much. I went on a fast, started upping the training, and threw out all the rubbish. I just wanted to get fit and make healthy decisions for myself. I work at it, but I’m not about training every day and not having a life. I run for 40 minutes a few times a week and eat right, and it keeps the weight off. I wish I’d done it 20 years ago.
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Look for positives in tough times
Lockdown was great bonding time for me and my youngest daughter, Russia-Mae. Our breaks together are usually on holidays, so it was really beautiful to be at home with her and cook, which is one of my passions. I forgot all of that because I’m usually on the go and on tour, and she’s always busy too. It was a lovely, quiet time for us both. It’s important to look for the positives in tough times.
Keep the conversation about racism going
We’re seeing changes, but we need racism to be stamped out altogether. It’s the elephant in the room that nobody talked about, and now everyone’s talking about the elephant, and that’s great. My grandmother came here in Windrush [when nearly half a million people moved from the Caribbean to Britain, after severe labour shortages in the wake of the Second World War]. She thought this country was amazing, so it’s nice for me. For me, it’s been a massive improvement from when I was kid and watching the 1981 Brixton riots, where protests were held over a lack of policing of racist crime. Let’s keep the conversation going.
Mica’s Gospel Christmas broadcasted on Radio 2 on Christmas Day morning at 6am.
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