She’s put on a brave face since becoming single in November – but last week Kerry Katona revealed how spending Valentine’s Day alone hit her harder than she expected. Now, insiders reveal that she’s missing ex-fiancé, Ryan Mahoney.
A source tells Closer, ‘Kerry is feeling very torn. In the early days after their split, she felt certain and completely in control, but lately she’s been questioning her emotions and she’s realised she’s missing Ryan and sometimes just feels as if she wants him back. Everything she does just magnifies her feelings around being alone. She’s been asking her pals if she made a mistake leaving him as she’s so unsure – it’s really unlike her.'
‘She’s done everything to keep herself distracted and fill the void Ryan left, but Kerry’s struggling – everything she looks at reminds her of Ryan and them being together.’
Kerry, 44, and fitness coach Ryan, 36, first met on a dating app back in 2018 and got engaged two years later. After Kerry’s previous roller-coaster love life, Ryan seemed a genuine and stable partner, and he became a father figure to her five children – Molly, 23, and Lilly-Sue, 22, from her relationship with Brian McFadden, Heidi, 18, and Maxwell, 16, with Mark Croft, and 10-year-old Dylan-Jorge with the late George Kay.
But after six happy years together, Ryan and Kerry shocked fans when they announced their break-up in November after a ‘breach of trust’, with Ryan moving out of their Cheshire house just before Christmas.
Kerry has made a series of veiled digs at Ryan since their split. She posted a clip of herself dancing and singing along to Adele’s Rolling In The Deep on Instagram, captioning it, ‘My kids hate the fact I’m such a morning person, but it’s been a while since I’ve woke up happy and in love with myself and knowing my self-worth.’ Last month, she even revealed, ‘I’m not heartbroken anymore and feel like I know that Ryan wasn’t the one for me.’
Although Kerry has never looked better – in the past few months she dropped from a size 16 to size 8 and recently holidayed in Thailand with her daughter, Heidi – our source says that, inside, she’s hurting. And while her famous bestie Katie Price has been at her side throughout the entire ordeal, Kerry can’t seem to stop thinking about Ryan.
In another twist, celebrity chef Jameson Stocks – who previously dated former model Jo Wood – last week claimed that Kerry had dumped him after a secret two-month romance.
He said, ‘I don’t want to be seen to be a fool. One day she told me she loves me and wants to marry me and she’s telling my children she loves them. She was at my son’s birthday party on January 25. All of a sudden, she dumped me and said bye, and that’s wrong.’
An insider tells Closer, ‘Ultimately Kerry puts the blame at Ryan’s feet for their split, but she admits that the rebound with Jameson was a massive mistake. She dated him when she was at her most vulnerable and heartbroken.’
The former Atomic Kitten star apparently felt mortified at Jameson’s revelations, as she had not disclosed her secret relationship with him to anyone but a close circle of people. Kerry had also kept Jameson a secret from Ryan, and a source tells Closer that she was never serious about him.
‘Kerry claims Jameson was a rebound and that she was vulnerable. She’s furious with Jameson for selling her out and going to the press. Kerry also denies dating Jameson for two months and says it was two weeks, if that. He’s messing with the wrong woman.’
Meanwhile, the mum-of-five – who is slated to appear on the next series of Celebs Go Dating – is still said to be hoping there could be a reunion with Ryan if it doesn’t work out.
Our insider says, ‘Kerry is mulling over the situation with Ryan as she keeps changing her mind. On her recent holiday all she could think about was wanting him back. But she’s still determined to go on Celebs Go Dating as she feels it would be silly not to see what that could bring and she won’t miss that opportunity. Who knows what could happen after that?’