Holly Willoughby’s fears for baby number 4: ‘I’ve been riddled with guilt about getting it wrong’

She recently admitted that having space away from the limelight during lockdown helped her to reflect on what’s important in her life, telling fans, “I’m finally at a point in my life where I can see a little more clearly”.

But after turning 40 in February, friends say Holly Willoughby is now at a crossroads in her life, as she is putting pressure on herself to consider trying for her fourth baby, but is torn over the impact it could have.

A source says, “Holly knows this could be her last chance to ‘complete’ her family and that time is running out. But after launching her own agency and finally writing her book, something she’s dreamt of doing for years, she’s also worried about bursting that bubble.

“She’s in charge of her own career now and is looking at doing new, exciting projects, so she’s understandably feeling torn about throwing that off with another baby – but it’s also something she and Dan desperately want.”

Holly and her husband, TV producer Dan Baldwin, already share Harry, 12, Belle, 10, and six-year-old Chester, and she’s been open about her dreams for another baby.

Just before Christmas, Holly admitted, “I want one of those!” after meeting Rochelle Humes’ son Blake for the first time for a segment on This Morning – and despite a baffled Phillip Schofield joking, “No you don’t, you’ve got enough!”, Holly insisted, “But I do!”

In 2018, the mum-of-three admitted, “I’m always broody”, adding, “Part of me wants another baby…I’ve almost decided not to, but not quite.”

And spending treasured time with her family during lockdown has further sparked her longing for a fourth child.

The source says, “Holly’s made no secret of how much she would love another baby, and that wanting to become a mum again became even stronger after getting to spend so much quality time with the kids during the pandemic.

“So much is up in the air in her life. Holly’s always struggled to get that work/life balance and being home more than ever gave her an opportunity to relish in that extra time with the children – even little things like watching films and baking together, which she doesn’t always have time to do.

“Dan is fully in favour of having another child too, and it has been part of their reasoning behind their recent plans to extend their home.

“But now the clock is ticking and the pressure is on, the reality of a fourth baby is starting to set-in and she’s feeling torn about whether it’s the right decision at this stage in her career.”

Holly has previously confessed she found juggling a career and motherhood a struggle, especially when the children were babies.

She said, “Becoming a mum was the only thing I knew I definitely wanted when I was growing up, but the image I had never involved me being a working mum. That’s the biggest challenge. I’ve been riddled with guilt about getting that part wrong. You love them so much and you don’t want to mess them up.”

The source adds, “Holly has a lot on her plate right now – and even though she feels she ought to make a decision quite soon, it doesn’t really seem like the right time when so much is up in the air in her life.”

Last month, Closer revealed how Holly had been left feeling “drained” from constant rows in both her personal and professional life, which a pal revealed had “taken its toll”.

After more than a decade of security with her former management company, Holly has now founded her own female-led talent group – Roxy – but is said to have been forced into a legal battle potentially worth millions after her former agency allegedly demanded 15 per cent of her future earnings when they parted ways.

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And while her £2.8m home in West London should have provided a peaceful haven for the This Morning presenter amid the recent upheaval at ITV – including the sacking of Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford in November – the neighbours in her upmarket community have objected to her plans to extend, labelling her plans “disruptive”.

She is also keen to pave her own way and look towards doing solo projects – starting with her semi-autobiographical book, Reflections, which is out in October, and her new ITV game show, The Real Games, which she’ll be co-hosting with Freddie Flintoff.

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The source adds, “Juggling motherhood with her career has always been Holly’s biggest challenge and finding that work/life balance is something she has worked incredibly hard at over the years in a bid to prove to both herself and her children that you don’t have to sacrifice your dreams for a family and vice versa.

“But organising her new schedule around feeding times and sleepless night isn’t how she pictured spending her last maternity leave. So she’s got a big decision to make soon.

“Thankfully, she knows it won’t be one she regrets as either way, she feels incredibly grateful to have a beautiful family and dream career so whatever she chooses to sacrifice, she’ll still count herself lucky.”

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