I’ve heard friends say they wait until the third date to have sex, but that feels too early for me, so I’ll often put off having full sex for two months or so.
My current man says that’s too long. He says the pressure is really on now and keeps talking about how nervous he is about “D-day.” I want our first time to be great, not anxiety ridden.
Should I do it sooner?
Ellen, by email
Do you want to do it sooner? Sex is a natural expression of love so, rather than stick to any “rules” set by yourself or society, why not relax and let things happen when it feels right?
I get your boyfriend’s point, but he’s a grown-up, not a teenager (I hope!) and should be able to cope with the “pressure.”
Be light-hearted about it. Sex is supposed to be fun, not about strategic planning. Joke about “D-day” with your boyfriend. Tease him. Turn it into a sexually charged, erotic wait rather than an anxious countdown.