I’m 43, my husband is 45 and we’ve been married for 20 years. He has no sex drive and we’ve not had sex for nearly five years. It never used to be like this – we both had very high sex drives.
He saw a doctor and they found nothing wrong. I feel sad and lonely, but my husband isn’t concerned about his lack of desire. I don’t want to leave him but sex is a big part of my life.
Emma, London
It’s unusual for someone who had a high sex drive to not miss sex and want to find a solution, which makes me think this is an emotional rather than physical problem. People withhold sex for a range of reasons – anger, resentment, as a punishment.
If he loves you, he should be willing to explore solutions with you.
Let him know you’re not just sad --– it’s time for action or your marriage is severely threatened.