I love my boyfriend but he’s always picking on me.
If I’m late home from work, he gets annoyed; if I’m too busy to see him, he sulks.
I have lots of friends and he’s not the only person in my life. He even gets funny if I invite other friends to join us at the weekends. How can I get him to stop picking fault?
Lizzy, by email
Tracey says:
By truly listening to him.
Your email is very defensive. You defend your right to be late from work, you defend your right to be busy and to ask friends along on dates.
You’re so busy defending yourself, you’re not paying attention to what he’s asking for – your time and attention.
Give him more of both and I suspect the “picking” will stop. Encourage him to express his needs directly (“I want to see more of you”) rather than indirectly (“I’m sick of you being late”).