I’m going out with a really kind man – the opposite to my rat of an ex-husband. But I’m not sure if I fancy him. He’s awkward around women and a virgin. I’m holding back on sex because I’m not sure how I feel. We’ve been dating for a month.
**Laura, by email **
After being with someone “bad” (like your ex), someone nice can be confusing – the drama from your past relationship can make you think there isn’t chemistry.
I’m guessing you had good sex with your husband, even if you didn’t like him much. Fighting and feeling jealous can set off the same hormones that make us feel aroused. Nice men can also arouse us, but it happens in a gentler way over time.
There’s a big gap in experience, but my instinct is to give it a chance.