I used to like sex, but I’ve recently put on some weight and don’t feel attractive any more. My partner says he fancies me and doesn’t notice the weight, but I’ve lost my sexual confidence.
Name withheld, by email
You can get your confidence back by focusing less on your body and more on sex itself. Dieting isn’t the answer, but improving sexual skills just might be.
In Michael Alvear’s book Not Tonight Dear, I Feel Fat (Amazon.co.uk, £9.99), the author explains that while a positive body image has a huge impact on satisfying sex, you don’t need a positive body image to have satisfying sex.
The better lover you think you are, the less you’ll worry about what you look like. So buy a few reputable sex books and start educating yourself. This will do far more for your sex-esteem than staring in a mirror, worrying about how you look.