Ten steps to orgasm: follow our handy guide for reaching the big O

Ah, the elusive Big O. Some women have got there, others find it almost impossible - and plenty of us find it pretty hard to scale those orgasmic heights with a partner. So, in the spirit of goodwill, we’ve compiled 10 easy tips to help you stop faking it and start making it...

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by Kayleigh Dray |
Published on

Get in the mood

Take a little time to get yourself in the mood. Put on some seductive music, have a long relaxing bath, moisturise with your fave luxe product and dress up in your fave lingerie.

Masturbate alone

Masturbation is one of the best ways to work out what you don’t like, what you like and what you really like. Bag yourself some alone time and have fun exploring what you love with me, myself and I...

Masturbate together

Masturbation is the best way to find out what works for you during sex - so, next time you're in the bedroom with your man, suggest you start with some mutual masturbation to get things rolling. He’ll soon find out what makes you tick!

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Stop thinking about it

If you aren’t relaxed, you’re going to find it difficult to reach orgasm - and one of the biggest ways to relax is to STOP thinking about the Big O. Focus on what you're feeling in the moment - muscle tension, a change in your breathing, your desire to thrust or writhe - rather than where you're hoping to end up.

Self-denial

There’s nothing hotter than taking yourself to the brink and denying yourself the chance to climax. Whether alone or with a partner, get yourself to the point just before you can't stop yourself coming - then stop. Keep repeating this until you just can’t take it anymore... the end result will be amazing...

Lube it up

Using one of the "extra tingly" lubes on the market will help to encourage blood to rush in all the right places - and help you on your way to a toe-curling orgasm.

Get on top

Try switching things around and hopping on top - it will help you to direct your clitoris between your pelvic bone and his, leading to that all-important clitoral stimulation. Grinding together, as opposed to up-and-downing, is the secret to success in this position...

Use your hands

Whether on top or below, adding yours (or his!) hands to the mix is a great way to amp up those pleasure vibes.

** Try a change in scenery**

Everyone loves a role between the covers, but don’t neglect the other rooms in your house. Lying back on the kitchen table while he stands is a great way to get him deeper than ever - and the angle leaves his hands free to explore...

Keep trying

If it doesn’t happen the first time, don’t give up - and don’t make every single sexy encounter all about the Big O. Each time you get down and dirty, keep your focus on the individual experience... and enjoy each and every single one of them!

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