Why it’s NOT okay to live out your relationship on social media

It's time to stop telling Facebook and Twitter how much you love your partner, because it could be ruining your relationship.


by Kayleigh Dray |

Every single day, I'm inundated by public declarations of love on Facebook. One 'friend' will have tagged her boyfriend in a status, thanking him for making her dinner. Another will have shared a photograph of a bouquet of flowers, or even a cup of tea he brought her in bed.

And then, of course, there's all the couples who are sitting RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER, sending each other little posts on their Facebook walls.

Via Facebook
Via Facebook


I have a message for all of you people: GET A ROOM ALREADY!

Before you start, I'm not jealous of all the romance; I'm in a happy and content relationship of my own (although you might not have guessed it from a quick scan of my Facebook profile). I'm a big fan of love and I enjoy seeing my friends happy.

But all this oversharing? It's not good for your love-lives.


Here's five reasons why you ought to think twice about popping that sickly status update up this afternoon…

1) Where's the privacy?

First things first, you're taking something very personal and inviting the world to join in with you. You might be enjoying quiet night in with your boo, but there are, essentially, 234 Facebook friends all crammed in the room with you, watching your every move.

Via Facebook

2) People get judgemental

By putting those important moments on Facebook, you're inviting people to give feedback on your relationship.

Christine Northam, a counsellor for relationship advice charity Relate, summed it up pretty well:

“Comments from friends will influence the way you deal with a relationship. By sharing everything you are allowing feedback on something that’s ultimately very personal.

“People should make their own minds up. By asking for approval on the way someone looks or what someone does, you risk putting your friends' opinions before your own.”

That makes perfect sense to us.


Via Facebook

3) Your partner might hate it

Researchers from the University of Kansas have found that a good chunk of people in romantic relationships don't LIKE it when their significant other starts broadcasting his or her feelings to the Facebook world. The main reason for this? It makes them feel "less special and unique".

  1. It encourages competitiveness

Seriously, it does. People want to feel like their relationship is the best of the best (and, for many of us, we assume it is!), so when they see all these other couples showcasing every single little bitty 'amazing' detail, it encourages them to do the same. Because, if they don't, maybe people might think their relationship is inferior - or less 'genuine'.

You know what's genuine? Not worrying what other people think. Trust me; the majority of these 'perfect' relationships on Facebook aren't all that - after all, they edit it - just like Big Brother producers - so that they only show you the good stuff. Stay private, kids.

Via Facebook

5) Nothing is sacred

Is nothing sacred anymore? If the entire Internet is in on our private, special moments, then they're not so private and special anymore, are they? You'll go to ring up your friend and tell her all about the cuteness going on and she will ALREADY KNOW BECAUSE IT'S ON FACEBOOK! How boring.

Via Facebook

6) Do you ever talk to your partner?

Call me crazy, but having a conversation OUT LOUD, rather than sharing posts between your Facebook walls, seems like a better foundation for a relationship. That way, when you're chatting, you can go: "Remember the time we went to the farm together?" as opposed to "Remember that time I sent you a Farmville gift?"

There's nothing more romantic than someone telling you that you're special, that they love you and that you are the one they want to spend their life with. And, sure, it's nice to be proud of this and show it off to the world - but only once in a while.

Instead, why not try saving the cute, mushy stuff for yourselves? That way, when it comes to the big life events you want to share (like an engagement, a wedding or a baby announcement), it'll have more of an impact when you DO choose to share it on Facebook.

Do you agree with Kayleigh's thoughts on Facebook and love? Let us know your thoughts in the Comments Box below, or tweet us over at @CloserOnline now.

You may also like: What happened to the sisterhood? We explore why women are so judgemental of each other

Just so you know, whilst we may receive a commission or other compensation from the links on this website, we never allow this to influence product selections - read why you should trust us