Reading the signs – is he being flirty or friendly?

This whole sexual attraction business was so much easier when we were still swinging through the trees (apologies to any Creationists reading this) in those halcyon days at the dawn of civilisation.


by Andrew Hartley |
Published on

A quick sniff of private areas, the presentation of a pair of ruddy bum cheeks or dangly bits and some grappling and groping let it be known we were up for it. Come to think of it, I've been to bars where it's still pretty much the same!

It's generally a bit more complicated now though. So how can you tell if the attentions of that hot colleague or cute neighbour are flirty or just friendly? Well, let's try these pointers:

It's a love/hate thing

Remember how that boy at school used to tease you mercilessly and make cruel digs but oddly he was always hanging around you at break-time? Yeah, it was a cover-up. Afraid to let you know how he really felt, he just wound you up instead. That doesn't change much as boys get older, so if there's a guy who seems to spend his time flicking things at you, trying to block you from things you need and generally takes the mickey out of you, there's a strong chance he secretly fancies the pants off you.


Seeing is believing – We're turned on by visual images. Our eyes are not just windows to our souls, they are sex binoculars, scanning the horizon for lovely lady things. Catch him staring at you once, and it could be he's just zoning out while thinking about what's for lunch. Catch him staring a second time and it's a cert that he wants you. Bit creepy though, huh?

'does he remember things you tell him and bring them up in later conversations? He hearts you.'

Take the compliment

When men are created in that factory just off the M1, the makers programme them never to notice anything women wear, do with their hair, the scent of a new fragrance etc etc. So if he tells you he loves something about your appearance, that means he's so into you he's blown an internal fuse. Yes, you’re that hot!


Talking the talk

So he’s always friendly, always smiling and he loves talking with you. So far, so good. But is that flirty? Not necessarily. Because the key here is what he’s talking about. If it’s himself, I’d say the only thing he likes to cuddle up to at night is his ego. (Or his girlfriend. You have found out if he’s single, right?) But it’s a whole different ballgame if he guides the conversation so the talk is mostly about you. And the absolute key is this; does he remember things you tell him and bring them up in later conversations? For men, that’s just not normal behaviour. He hearts you.

All the world’s a stage

A word of warning. Check who’s around you when he’s doing the flirty business. One of the many annoying things men do is fool around with one girl, joking and flirting, while within earshot of the girl they really fancy but are still a bit too nervous of making a direct play for. These little performances are designed so he can show how funny/endearing/clever he is when talking to you, all the while looking over his shoulder to see if the object of his desires is ear-wigging or looking mildly interested. So the rule is, if he’s flirting with you, make sure he keeps eye contact. If his eyes flick to another girl, he’s playing you – bastard alert!

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