Is it possible to change a man?

Of course, for women, this won’t seem like a big deal. You love change. For a start, you restyle your hair every six weeks – whereas us blokes are happy to rock the same hairstyle for a lifetime. You buy a new wardrobe each season – I’ve got shirt/trouser combos older than the average Closer reader. So it stands to reason that your meddling will eventually extend to the man in your life.

But changing anything about ourselves for our loved ones is not something Shane, nor any other man, would ever admit to. Why? Because we see change as weakness. Why yield to the wishes of others when you should be forging through life in a “take me or leave me/my way or the highway” style. And that macho pride forbids us from allowing the other half to perform makeovers - mainly because our mates will takes the p**s.

The key to success on your part is to be subtle about transforming us. Don’t go for the biggies too early or we’ll dig our heels in. So that rules out asking us to grow out our cropped hair for a Harry Styles mop-top, “experimenting” with fake tan or getting us to swap our jeans and T-shirt look for some “on trend” pashmina and cardie like MIC’s Hugo.

Go slowly. Start at the bottom, literally, by ditching his threadbare socks and pants, then gradually chip away at all the other bits you don’t like until, bit by bit, he’s been remoulded like a Ken doll into your image of perfection.

Finally, never underestimate the huge changes a man will voluntarily perform for love (or the possibility of some bedroom action). I’m speaking here as a former rampant meat lover who, at the start of a meal with a very attractive first date, noticed she’d ordered the vegetarian dish and piped up: “Oh, you’re veggie? Me too!” Ten years later I am married to that attractive woman and haven’t touched a morsel of meat since. And that, dear reader, is why I look so anaemic in my picture byline - but at least I've resisted her suggestion to use bronzer.