A boy in school had his beady little eyes on my friend, and I jumped in asking if I could be his girlfriend too.
He answered- in a matter of fact manner: “No, I can’t go out with you, you’re brown.”
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From Eskimo to Pocahontas to the n-word I heard it all, and like most children I just wanted to be the same as those around me, my colour was an inconvenience.
Growing up in a mainly white English middle class suburb, that’s how I saw myself, but not necessarily how others saw me.
Whenever I visited my mother’s home country of Germany, I found another culture to adapt to.
But no sooner had I adapted and started attending a German school in London, I noticed hostility from English neighbouring schools towards Germans.
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And the most common question I faced: ‘Where are you from?’ followed by, ‘No where are you really from’.
I couldn’t describe myself as English or German, and the only answer to satisfy the curious was a full rundown of my ethnic heritage.
Going from an atheist post-hippy household to the odd visit to the faraway island where my father and his enormous religious family live required another style of speech (sign language to aid their broken English), behaviour and outfit (traditional dress).
Culturally I found my calling when I listened to my first Tupac song aged 11. But even there I didn’t fully fit in.
It was only when I went to a state college in South London that I realised I could work my background to my advantage. Being a very mixed college, I made friends with teenagers of all colours and backgrounds- and could relate to everyone.
Interestingly, because I couldn’t be classed as one particular racial or social group, everyone saw me as one of them. I was let into a world where I could see the judgment every race and class has for the other.
Being able to adapt to different cultures and social situations has given me a colour kaleidoscope insight to the world. My 360 view has helped me to jump from a corporate to a creative career, and given me an array of fascinating multi-cultural friends.
Where I once wished I was one race, one nationality and one identity, I’ve realised I have the best of every world. Being a chameleon has got me where I am today, and I wouldn’t change it for anything.