Young boys aren’t renowned for talking about their emotions – aren’t they meant to be too busy fighting and breaking things? So the results of a recent project carried out by a small group of schoolboys might come as a surprise. The eight year olds were asked what they hated most about being boys and came up with replies like “We’re not meant to cry” and “That we’re supposed to like violence.”
Rather than let boys grow up with those feelings and expectations into manhood, they should be challenged. It’s common to encourage young girls to grow up to be strong, independent and resilient. But often, what we effectively end up saying is “Boys are tough, girls need to be tougher.” What about empowering boys to feel they can be sensitive, diplomatic and unashamed to talk about emotions?
The problem is it’s somehow seen as positive to encourage girls to toughen up to face life’s challenges, but the idea of encouraging boys to be kind and caring is seen as weak or soft and putting them at risk of being teased or bullied. Empowering both boys and girls boils down to telling them the same thing. It’s not weak to be caring. It’s not strong to hide your feelings.