You're abusing all forms of technology
You've text your bridesmaids to tell them you've sent a Facebook message. You've tweeted them to let them know a group email needs their attention. You've rung them and asked why the hell they haven't replied yet - it's fine. You're 100% breezy… breezy as a frikkin hurricane!
You've become more shady around your engaged friends
Erm, hello? They might steal all of your beautiful wedding ideas for their own big day!!!
Like, seriously shady…
Who can you trust with your seating plan nowadays? Nobody, that's who.
The groom seems, well, meeker than you remember him being…
Didn't he used to have opinions and stuff?
You find yourself saying things that make people cry
Weaklings, all of them.
You spend 20% of your time crying
"I CAN'T GET THE NAPKINS IN THE RIGHT SHADE OF PINK AND NOBODY CARES!"
And you spend the other 80% planning the wedding
Yes, you phone your florist from the car. Yes, you write up seating arrangements over breakfast. Yes, you check your emails while you're on the toilet. Doesn't everyone?
You've moved from pleading to making actual bonafide threats
Okay, fine. MAYBE telling your bridesmaid, "I'll cut you if you don't deal with those stripy highlights" was just one itty-bitty inch past crazy…
You can't stop updating Facebook
Sometimes you even tag a few choice people in your "only 28 months to go" statuses, yes. But you know what? Your Facebook pals absolutely NEED to be kept updated on every single detail of your wedding. THEY NEED TO!
Your bridesmaids have turned on you
You have no idea why. All you did was ask them to clear out their diaries for the month before the wedding. Oh, and pay for their dresses. And maybe attend twice-weekly meetings to discuss the big day. And, like, attend all of your dress fittings and stuff before that. What's the problem here?
You and your mum just aren't getting along
"Mum, I'm sorry you can't find the right outfit to wear - but I have a lot of things to sort out for this wedding and I really don't need your tears right now."
You're bumping people off your wedding list left, right and centre
Hey man, if they didn't reply to those invites on the day you sent them, they obviously don't care enough to be there… right?
You're horribly in debt
But that's fine. because who needs food when they can have a designer garter, eh?
You've memorised the phone numbers of your florist, dress maker, caterer and so on.
As IF it's creepy. As if. It's just… it's just efficient, that's what it is.
You're running the Bank of Mum And Dad dry
"Erm, hello? Did I not already mention that I was in debt? This is what parents are FOR, damn it!"
You don't really like it when people make suggestions of their own
Yeah, yeah, he's the groom - but this is YOUR big day, after all.
You've put the wedding party on a new diet and fitness plan
Well, they're all going to be in your wedding photos - it just makes good sense!
Your Pinterest wedding board is now your homepage
NOW YOU CAN SEE ALL OF YOUR BEAUTIFUL IDEAS ALL OF THE GOSH-DARN TIME!!!
You keep calling your wedding 'the social event of the year / decade / century'
You know it, people!
So, yes, you're maybe a bridezilla.
Is it bad that you don't care?