Is she a frenemy? How to spot (and deal with) real-life frenemies

Whether you know it or not, pretty much every woman ever has had a frenemy at some point. Here's how best to deal with them…


by Kayleigh Dray |
Published on

First things first, what IS a frenemy?

A frenemy = friend-plus-enemy in one.

They're the females who pose as friends, but in reality, they have evil intentions. Nice to your face, b*tchy behind your back, basically. Make little comments that make you doubt yourself. Pick out your faults with a quick "I'm only teasing!" to try and soften the sting of their claws.

You know, as in actual Mean Girls.

But how do you spot one? By looking for THESE frenemy traits...

1) She constantly insults you - but makes it sound like a joke. And if you call her up on it, she slams you for being "over sensitive"


  1. She doesn't respect your opinion**

3) She never asks how you are. Or, if she does, it's a quick "fine" she's hoping for, so she can go into MAJOR detailed conversation on her own life…

4) If you DO start talking about yourself, she's not interested

5) She uses your secrets against you - and it stings

6) She constantly competes with you - like, all the time. Over e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

7) She constantly makes you doubt yourself. CONSTANTLY!

8) She talks about people behind their backs constantly

9) …including you

10) Her ego is just, like, ridiculous

11) She puts you down in a social setting. Trust us, it's got a lot to do with her self-esteem issues and the fact she wants to be the "popular" girl

12) She flirts with the guy you like / guy you're dating, just to prove a point

13) Despite this, she judges you constantly

14) She's a major control freak

15) … but she's sweetness and light whenever she wants to be

So what do you do if you think you've got a frenemy?

Well, a person who once in a while is a bit of a frenemy / b*tch can be forgiven. We all have bad days and we all, let's face it, have self-involved moments.

But if a person is a persistent frenemy, it's time to take action.

You can try ending your friendship with her…

Ignore her…

Or you can wait for fate to take its course.

We're kidding! We wouldn't wish that on anyone - not even Regina George, really.

The best way to do it is with honesty; avoiding her and blocking her phone calls is stressful and she won’t understand why she is being ignored.

Try telling her:

"You haven’t been a very good friend over the last few months. You never seem to want to hang out and you only talk to me when you need something. You don’t treat me like a friend and I have finally heard the message loud and clear."

Now that your frenemy is aware how you feel hopefully they shouldn’t bother you with their negativity anymore. Either she'll learn from it and try to be a better friend - our she'll disappear to make someone else's life a misery. Either way, win win. You should only ever surround yourself with people who have your best interests at heart.

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