We’ve all read (or at least felt like we’ve read) Fifty Shades Of Grey, EL James’ erotic tale of sexually-dominant Christian Grey and his submissive BDSM budy Ana Steele. From spankings and whippings to hand cuffs and jiggle balls, the book brought fetish fantasy into the limelight – and sex shops saw a massive rise in sales for fetish toys.
But is it worth unleashing our “inner goddess” and trying out those bonkbuster-inspired orgasms?
Well, according to new research, S&M enthusiasts are “healthier and less neurotic” than those with a tamer sex life – and that’s probably due to the fact that it allows you to throw your usual dynamic out of the bedroom, which is as refreshing as it is disinhibiting.
But this will only work if your partner is game, so have a discussion about it with him. You might think all men love spanking but many are brought up with a belief that they should never hit a woman, while others feel unsure about taking a dominant/aggressive role. So keep it light-hearted (maybe just whisper in his ear that you’ve been a naughty girl and need to be taught a lesson) and be prepared to deal with any issues that come up.
If he’s game, go for it – just remember to start off tame and agree on a safe word first. Maybe try introducing a blindfold to the bedroom as a taster (losing one of your senses is a great way to heighten the others!) or handcuffs, and try spanking with a bare hand rather than a whip or paddle first, to see how you like the feel of it.
Or, if you fancy playing the part of dominatrix, why not start off your next bedroom session by telling him he’s not going to get what he wants until you do. Then demand he pleasure you with his fingers or tongue before he gets so much as a nail laid on him – if he’s turned on by your no-nonsense naughtiness, you know you’re onto a winner!