Closer writer Kat Romero says: 'Stop telling women what to do with their own bodies'
'This ‘brand new information’ has hit me harder than the discovery that water is wet.
Every woman who hasn’t been living her entire under life under a rock will be painfully aware of the pressures we face with fertility. That along side all other looming pressures – career, finances, general health fears - we also have the ticking of our biological clock as the cherry on top of life's bitter sundae.
But reminding women that they have to get a move on with babies or risk a ‘childless future’ is not only insensitive - it’s down right idiotic.
Firstly, it’s as if we’re to assume all women in their late twenties are in the position to have children. That we’re all swanning around in these family friendly four bedroom houses - complete with a baby’s nursery – and loved up with the perfect father-material partner.
But instead, we’re laughing at our declining fertility rate, ignoring expert's warnings and using the baby’s changing table for a jaegerbomb bar and the cot for an extra place to drunkenly crash at 4am.
For the record, I’m 27 and earning a decent enough wage. But I can’t afford to buy a house. I can barely afford to buy a non-stick frying pan (and yes that is high up on my wish list).
As for childcare, unless social services will allow me to keep my baby in my desk drawer or deem my ten-year old cat Earl a suitable babysitter, I’m screwed.
And as for the perfect father-material partner, have you been a singleton lately? The dating world can be a cesspit of despair.
My last date told me he’d never date a woman older than 28 for fear of ‘sagging’ and another went into excruciating detail over his ‘exciting’ belt collection - leading me to wish one of the said belts would double up as a noose for me and end my torment.
And what if you do already have a house, a loving partner and a healthy sum of savings but you’re STILL not ready? What if you want a few more years before you put your body through nine months of pregnancy and the excruciating pain that is labour.
I’ve seen 24 hours in A&E and whilst the end result seems pretty sweet, I find it bizarre that in a time of Apple watches and Google glasses, women still have to push a baby out of their nether regions.
Plus, there’s no pressure put on men when it comes to reproducing. Maybe some leading expert should warn men of their part to play. Stay in shape so women will want to sleep with you, or risk a childless future.
Stop sleeping with every Tinder match you get or women will call you a whore and you'll face a childless future. Stop bringing up statistics on women's fertility or women will think you're a terrible human being and you'll face a childless future.
I'm not sure when, or if ever, I'll become a mum. But I know I won't allow statistics to pressure me into producing before I'm ready. It's my womb, my way.'
Closer Writer Sara says: ‘No one is telling you what to do - but you can’t ignore the facts’
'Everyone gets so hysterical about fertility issues.
The article in question was medical in basis, it was simply quoting the informed opinion of a respected Doctor that it IS a lot harder to get pregnant once you turn 30 - and the risks to both mother and baby higher.
As a 30-year-old woman - your chances of giving birth within one year of starting to try is 75%, something which declines to 66% by 35, and down to 44% by 40. For men - these figures are far less severe, with some studies even suggesting that sperm concentration improves in some cases with age.
Just because someone is reporting the facts, doesn’t mean they are directly attacking you for your life decisions or situation- nor are they telling you that you must get knocked up immediately or fail at life entirely.
Those are just the facts, and you should learn to accept them or risk a massive shock later down the line.
And sadly, as much as we can argue till we are blue in the face that men should also be made to feel the inevitable ticking of the biological clock - they realistically don’t have to.
Men can father children far into middle age; women can’t. Those are the facts.
While some sprightly fifty year olds can still physically father children, many women struggle past the 30 mark, and even more so past 40. So yes, our time is more limited.
If anything, the article appeared to me to be doing us a favour. Rather than lying to us that we can have a fantastic career until 38, then if we fancy it get pregnant and live happily ever after, it was saying - just so you know, you might struggle.
At least that way we can all make an informed opinion about what we want out of life.
No we might not have enough money or a stable partner to do those things at this current moment, but perhaps knowing that you have less time that you first imagined will make you reassess what you want to do for the next few years.
Fight against the facts if you will - and good for you for choosing how you want to live, everyone should - but just understand that the body can only do so much up to a certain point, and having that in your head (rather than burying it in the sand) will save a lot of heartache further down the line.'