What is it?
Sadomasochism is the mutually consented giving or receiving of sexual pleasure from acts involving pain or humiliation.
As described in Rihanna’s hit song S&M- ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me’- this can involve bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission.
Whether the frisky party likes to be tied up, spanked, whipped, ordered around or to do the ordering, there is usually a ‘safe’ word in case things get too heated.
Who does it?
Everyone from professional dominatrixes, to your average stiff-lipped banker.
A recent survey revealed that 71% of women aren’t adverse to “a little more pain” to turn them on in the bedroom.
Angelina Jolie, who famously carried a vial of ex Billy Bob Thornton’s blood, also dabbled in knife and blood play before meeting Brad Pitt and confessing:
“Since I've been with Brad, there's no longer a place for that (bisexuality) or S&M in my life."
Even Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria has confessed to being partial to a dominating man and ‘being tied up with silk scarves’.
Where can you find out for yourself?
Why not start out at a tamer high street sex store such as Ann Summers?
What the critics say
The practice has been critisised for the danger it may pose if taken to the extreme. A common activity is that of ‘choking’, where oxygen is cut off temporarily to enhance an orgasm. This has resulted in cases of comas, and even death.
Another concern is that the participant’s desires will develop into more aggressive and therefore dangerous acts.
What the sexperts say
Sex and relationships expert Tracy Cox says:
“Bondage jumped the fence between kinky and commonplace some time ago and S&M is pawing at the ground, poised to take a flying leap.
'S&M is pawing at the ground, poised to take a flying leap'
If you choose to be the ‘submissive’ person, you’re released from all responsibility, get to be the centre of attention, desirable and alluring. You might have to be obedient: perform a striptease, draw a bath for your ‘master’ and dry him off afterward.
If you choose to be the ‘dominant’, you call the shots. You get to be selfish, cruel, superior (in short, a right bitch or bastard) without getting in trouble. It can make you feel more confident in real life.
It goes without saying that you should only agree to this if you feel comfortable. But if you’re simply trying to make sex a little edgier, why not try a safe version see how you like it?”