Figures from the Office for National Statistics show over one-in-four families – 26 per cent – are now led by a single parent, and these figures come with a lot of stigma attached.
A few months ago, social scientist W. Bradford Wilcox insisted that, even if you’re not poor, it is worse to be raised by a single mother.
'Being raised in a Thatcherite era condemning single-parent families, my experience of being raised in one is overwhelmingly positive'
Children of single mothers are in his opinion, more likely to end up as pregnant teens, in prison, or otherwise in trouble.
This view is a long-standing argument, derived from a political mix of statistics, stereotypes and perhaps fear of a changing society.
But I beg to differ.
Until I was asked at the age of five by a classmate why I didn’t have a father, I had thought my upbringing was entirely normal. My mother was a strong parent with a good job and played the role of both mother and father.
I did not feel as though I was missing out, in fact I often think how annoying it would have been to have two people telling me what to do.
Our mother-daughter bond was made closer by the fact that there were only two of us, although as a teenager this may have magnified our frequent hormone-induced spats.
I believe growing up in an “all girls” house made me more independent. Rather than relying on a man to check the fuse box, open the tight jam jar or fix the shelves, my mother taught me to do it myself.
It also helped in the love department. I was not raised to believe that a woman is half without a man.
Being self-reliant gives you a sense of power - you therefore attract partners that will only add to your life, but you are not dependent on them.
Additionally, I was more responsible and mature from a young age. At four years old I was making my own “packing” lists, whether I was staying at a friend’s house while my mother was doing a night shift, or we were going on holiday.
I would save money all year so I could get my mum good Christmas and birthday presents, as there was no one else to do so. This attitude resulted in me being among the first of my friends to get on the property ladder.
'I believe it is better to be raised in a single-parent home than in one with two unhappy parents'
I was shown how to have a successful career as well as raise a family, and ambition has always been a number one priority for me.
Yet statistics suggest I may be in the minority.
Research by Dr Sara McLanahan at Princeton University shows that boys raised in a single-parent household are more than twice as likely to be incarcerated, compared with boys raised in an intact, married home.
Those that I know are respectful to women, know how to cook and clean, as well as being the only “man of the house.”
Another survey by Dr Bruce Ellis of the University of Arizona found that one-third of girls whose fathers left home before they turned six ended up pregnant as teenagers, compared with just five per cent of girls whose fathers were present throughout their childhood.
In her book, For Better Or For Worse, psychologist E. Mavis Hetherington states that “25 per cent of youths from divorced families, in comparison to 10 per cent from non-divorced families, did have serious social, emotional, or psychological problems.”
Other research implies that children of never-married single parents tend to do marginally worse than children of divorced single parents.
Though I cannot argue with statistics, I believe it is better to be raised in a single-parent home than in one with two unhappy parents.
I believe the feelings of guilt for the child over the parents’ “staying together for the child’s sake,” can be more damaging than not growing up in a “traditional nuclear” family structure.
As long as the home environment is happy, secure and balanced, I believe a single mother can do just as good a job. I like to think I am proof of that.