The WORST lines from E L James’ Grey…

They’ll have you laughing and cringing in equal measure…


by Ellie Henman |
Published on

E L James has brought Christian Grey back and in her latest novel, Grey, the billionaire playboy takes centre stage.

The book – which is written from the viewpoint of Christian – has been met with mixed reviews from fans.

But, the one thing everyone seems to agree on – some exerts from the book are hilarious. Some are completely bizarre. And others will have you screaming as you turn the page. For example: fancy putting a lump of ginger in your bottom?

No, us neither, we’ll leave that to Christian and Anastasia., thank you very much.

Here’s some of our favourite quotes from the book. Enjoy!

“This calls for – what did she call them? SHOUTY CAPITALS.”

We LOVE shouty capitals.

“Miss Steele is a carnal creature. She will be a joy to train. My cock twitches in agreement.”

Christian’s penis agrees with a lot of things in the book, by the way.

“My green car is fuzzy. Covered in grey fur and dirt. I want it back. But I can't reach it. I can never reach it. My green car is lost. Lost. And I can never play with it again.”

With all his millions, you think he’d just get in the cleaners…

“She's oil on my troubled, deep, dark waters.”

This doesn’t sound promising.

“I have never slept with a woman. I've f----- many, but to wake up beside an alluring young woman is a new and stimulating experience. My cock agrees.”

We told you!

“She has a fresh, wholesale fragrance that reminds me of my grandfather's apple orchard.”

Ever the romantic, Christian Grey.

****‘Your sandwich, Mr Grey.’ ‘Chicken and mayonnaise?’ ‘Um…’ I stare at her. She just doesn’t get it. Olivia offers an inept apology. ‘I said chicken with mayonnaise, Olivia. It’s not that hard.’”

There are no words.

“Where would be convenient for you? In my room. Just you, me, and the cable ties.”

Sounds like fun, eh?

“Anastasia watches me with - what? Trepidation? She's probably never seen an erect penis before.”

It’s probably the enormous collection of whips over your shoulder, Christian.

“At least Taylor has arrived and I have all my shit. I have Barney's report on his department's graphene tests to read and I can work in peace.”

Totally riveting prose…

Well done, E L James. We can't wait to read the rest now...

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