We know that being eaten by a shark is unlikely, okay?
We KNOW that you have more chance of being killed by people, or dogs, or cows than you do the toothy wonders of the deep blue sea.
But that doesn’t mean we aren’t going to sit up and pay attention when someone tells us how to avoid ever becoming shark fodder.
Taking to Facebook, the ridiculously entertaining Veronica-Pooh Nash Poleate has dished out her own unique brand of advice on this subject.
She explains: “My spirit was troubled this morning, because I had the news on this morning and they were talking about someone else that got ate up by a shark.
“Now I want you all to be mindful when you’re off vacationing; you going to the beach, do that. Go to the beach.
“Don’t go to the ocean. The ocean is the shark’s house.”
“When chickens come in my house, guess what? They get ate"
Hmm - sound advice, but we need more details.
Thankfully, Veronica is MORE than happy to provide that information for us.
She explains: “I’m not going to the ocean, because that's the shark's house. The shark has the right to eat you up when you in his house.
“When chickens come in my house, guess what? They get ate. When pigs come in my house, they on the plate.
“So when you go in the shark's house, you gonna get ate up.”
She adds: “I want you to be safe, i want you to be happy; just use some common sense. “Watch the ocean from a DISTANCE, okay?”
Veronica also provides a little information on bears (namely, stay out the woods, because it’s their house), which is also pretty epic.
Check it out:
Summer Safety Tips! > >
Posted by [Veronica-Pooh Nash Poleate](https://www.facebook.com/veronicapooh.nash) on [Sunday, 28 June 2015](https://en-gb.facebook.com/veronicapooh.nash/videos/10207197789284761/)
We love that empowering bit on body confidence at the end. Let’s just take a minute to reflect on that, shall we?
“Be happy, be fat; whatever meat is on your bones, rejoice in it… but stay out them oceans.
“Jesus.”
Amazing.
Following the popularity of the video, Veronica posted a follow-up thanking everyone for their attention and offering up another metaphor for those who are still going into the water.
Feeling The LOVE!!!! And STAY OUTTA THEM ANIMAL'S HOUSES!!!!!! > >
Posted by [Veronica-Pooh Nash Poleate](https://www.facebook.com/veronicapooh.nash) on [Wednesday, 1 July 2015](https://en-gb.facebook.com/veronicapooh.nash/videos/10207225641621052/)
“Think about it like this: When you go to your favourite restaurant ... you know you gonna have to wait but you know the food is gonna be good, so you'll go.
“The shark is doing the same thing, that's why they hanging around at the beach because they know y'all there and y'all is delicious.”
** Will you be following Veronica’s advice? Let us know via Facebook or Twitter (@CloserOnline) now.**