Originally published: 22 March 2011
Japan was devastated 10 days ago when a 33ft tsunami roared through a heavily populated area, washing away entire towns and killing tens of thousands of people. Now, among homes and buildings that were completely flattened, bodies wrapped in blue tarpaulins are lined up awaiting collection. Officials fear the death toll could rise to 100,000.
'The 33 ft tsunami roared through a heavily populated area. Officials fear the death toll could rise to 100,000'
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As heartbroken survivors frantically search for their missing loved ones, they’re also struggling to cope with the effects of homelessness – in freezing temperatures – and the threat of radiation from the damaged Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant.
It’s an unimaginable situation, but one person who can relate to the survivors is mum-of-three Nim Hoy, 48. The Thai-born British citizen recalls the tragic moments her husband, John, 46, and children, Robert, 12, David, nine, and Katie, seven, were washed away before her eyes during the tsunami that hit Thailand in 2004. Devastatingly, all four died.
“Seeing what’s happening in Japan is bringing everything back,” Nim explains.
“I wake up every morning with a feeling of uncertainty. I feel as if I’m still living a nightmare. The pain never goes.”
Nim met John 20 years ago when the economic advisor was posted to Thailand – where Nim worked as a language teacher. She recalls: “John enrolled on my course. From the moment we met, I knew he was special.”
The couple started dating and, just a few weeks later, they went on a sightseeing trip along the River Kwai.
Nim remembers: “It was magical. John was sweet and gentle. At night, we sat by the river and under the stars our love blossomed.”
On the drive back, John proposed and four months after meeting, they married. Their son Robert was born 14 months later. “We were blissfully happy and John was a doting dad,” says Nim.
After John’s contract ended, the young family moved to London, with another son, David, arriving in 1995, followed by Katie in June 1997.
Nim recalls: “Our lives were complete. Our house was always a mess with their toys, but it was full of love and laughter. Katie was thoughtful and quiet, while Robert and David were typical boys – so lively and active. They lived for bike rides and bowling.”
By July 2003, homesick Nim had lived away from Thailand for eight years, so the family bought a home in Bangkok.
Nim explains: “We arranged to spend Christmas 2004 on the coast of Khao Lak, Thailand, which had a beautiful beach. The kids were so excited. We spent Christmas Day on the beach and sang carols in the evening.”
On Boxing Day, the family planned to return to Bangkok, but with a few hours to spare, they made for the beach. Nim recalls fondly: “John played in the sand with the children.”
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But Nim suddenly noticed the sea had receded 300 metres from the beach. “I’d never seen anything like it,” she says.
While John, Robert and Katie walked to the shoreline to get a closer look, David and Nim stood back. Nim says: “It was strangely quiet – the birds had stopped singing, which was spooky.”
Nim overheard other people saying there had been an earthquake in the Indian Ocean, near Phuket – 80km south from Khao Lak, where they were staying.
There didn’t seem to be any immediate danger, but Nim was worried. “I had a bad feeling, so I asked John, Robert and Katie to come back and we headed away from the beach.”
Hearing loud rumbles, they panicked. They didn’t know what was happening, but the family rushed inland until they came to a dead end with bungalows blocking their path. Sensing they should get to higher ground, Nim and John ushered their kids to a balcony that was a metre high.
Chillingly, Nim says: “We had no idea we were in the path of the tsunami.”
A split second later, a huge wave rose up to one side of the balcony, sucking Nim under the water. “I heard people screaming as the wave dragged me away,” she recalls.
Struggling to keep above the water, Nim glimpsed her family standing on the balcony. She says: “John and Katie’s faces had drained of colour, but my boys had tears streaming down their faces and they were yelling: ‘Mummy, Mummy!’”
Nim could see a giant wave rushing up behind her family. As she disappeared under the water, the image of her frightened children stayed in her mind. Nim thinks she passed out because, when she regained consciousness, she was on dry land a mile inland. Incredibly, she hadn’t been injured.
The sights that met Nim were appalling. She weeps as she says: “Dead bodies and injured people were everywhere, moaning in despair. Panicking, I frantically searched back through the rubble for John and the children, hoping against hope they were safe, but I couldn’t find them anywhere.”
'Looking back, I remember feeling angry when people found their missing loved ones safe, when I'd been robbed of my family'
Nim scoured the hospitals and streets before finding David and Katie’s bodies in a temple – where rescue workers had laid out the dead. She says: “I can’t put into words how I felt. I couldn’t cry or move. I just kept telling them: ‘Mummy’s here now and I’m going to take you home.’”
Suspecting her whole family had perished, Nim explains she couldn’t grieve properly until she found Robert and John. John’s body was the first to be washed up two months later in February 2005, followed by Robert in April 2005. Both were identified by DNA tests.
“Looking back, I remember feeling angry when people found their missing loved ones safe, when I’d been robbed of my family.
“My grief was indescribable. But at least there was some closure,” says Nim, whose family were all cremated in one ceremony. “I had been reunited with my family.”
Nim took her family’s ashes to London in June 2005, where she took a job as a classroom assistant in the school her children had attended. “It was horrible going back to our empty old house, but I felt closer to my children there,” she says. “I have lovely friends nearby, too, who are so supportive.”
Now Nim hopes her story will help those affected by the Japan tsunami. She admits: “I imagine many survivors in Japan are panicking about the lack of food and desperately heartbroken over dead or missing loved one, just like I was. They’ll then be forced to pick up the pieces by rebuilding their homes and businesses. But they must remember their loved ones are looking down on them and, although it will take time, I’m hopeful their heartache will ease.”
Remarkably, Nim, who’s single, says: “Everyone has to find their own way of coping. It helps to know I can support people back in Thailand whose lives were touched by the tsunami. I won’t have any more kids, but I have financial responsibility for four orphans and I’m putting them through school. I’m also working with families whose homes and businesses were wrecked.
“It’s still incredibly hard. Sometimes, I wish I hadn’t been spared, but I know I owe it to John and the children to move on.”
By Natalie Corp