Stanford rape victim reads heartbreaking letter to her attacker

**"It has forever changed the way I carry myself"**

The student was attacked in the school's toilets (stock image)

by Daisy Jordan |
Published on

In January 2015, a 23-year-old women suffered the unthinkable when she was sexually assaulted while unconscious behind a dumpster on her University campus.

The attacker Brock Allen Turner was found guilty of three counts of sexual assault and a maximum sentence of 14 years behind bars for the horrifying attack.

But incredulously, the Stanford swimmer was sentenced to just six months in prison and probation in March this year amid worries that a longer sentence could have a “severe impact” on him. After all, he had a promising career in athletics lined up.

Now, the brave victim has come forward and detailed the harrowing ordeal she went through in a letter she read directly to her attacker.

The heartbreaking letter, obtained by Buzzfeed’s Katie J.M. Baker, reads, “You don't know me, but you've been inside me, and that's why we're here today.

“On January 17th, 2015, it was a quiet Saturday night at home. My dad made some dinner and I sat at the table with my younger sister who was visiting for the weekend.

“I planned to stay at home by myself, watch some TV and read, while she went to a party with her friends. Then, I decided it was my only night with her, I had nothing better to do, so why not, there’s a dumb party ten minutes from my house, I would go, dance like a fool, and embarrass my younger sister.

“The next thing I remember I was in a gurney in a hallway. I had dried blood and bandages on the backs of my hands and elbow. I thought maybe I had fallen and was in an admin office on campus. I was very calm and wondering where my sister was. A deputy explained I had been assaulted.

"I still remained calm, assured he was speaking to the wrong person. I knew no one at this party. When I was finally allowed to use the restroom, I pulled down the hospital pants they had given me, went to pull down my underwear, and felt nothing. I still remember the feeling of my hands touching my skin and grabbing nothing. I looked down and there was nothing. The thin piece of fabric, the only thing between my vagina and anything else, was missing and everything inside me was silenced. I still don’t have words for that feeling. In order to keep breathing, I thought maybe the policemen used scissors to cut them off for evidence.”


The victim talks about the "severe impact" the ordeal has had on her since, telling her attacker, "You cannot give me back my sleepless nights. The way I have broken down sobbing uncontrollably if I’m watching a movie and a woman is harmed, to say it lightly, this experience has expanded my empathy for other victims.

She speaks of the lenient sentence, saying, "Unfortunately, after reading the defendant’s report, I am severely disappointed and feel that he has failed to exhibit sincere remorse or responsibility for his conduct. I fully respected his right to a trial, but even after twelve jurors unanimously convicted him guilty of three felonies, all he has admitted to doing is ingesting alcohol. Someone who cannot take full accountability for his actions does not deserve a mitigating sentence.

“What has he done to demonstrate that he deserves a break? He has only apologized for drinking and has yet to define what he did to me as sexual assault, he has revictimized me continually, relentlessly. He has been found guilty of three serious felonies and it is time for him to accept the consequences of his actions. He will not be quietly excused.

“He is a lifetime sex registrant. That doesn’t expire. Just like what he did to me doesn’t expire, doesn’t just go away after a set number of years. It stays with me, it’s part of my identity, it has forever changed the way I carry myself, the way I live the rest of my life.”

Just so you know, whilst we may receive a commission or other compensation from the links on this website, we never allow this to influence product selections - read why you should trust us