Restorative justice: ‘I forgave the man who sexually abused me’

As research shows restorative justice- where victims meet the person who committed a crime against them- is helping to reduce re-offfending, we speak to Laura Coel, who forgave her stepdad for sexually abusing her

Laura Coel

by Miranda Knox |
Published on

For most victims of crime, the possibility of coming face-to-face with their attacker would be their worst nightmare.

But for some, it provides the opportunity to move on with their lives.

WATCH: DOMESTIC ABUSE SURVIVOR SINGS SONG FROM HOSPITAL BED URGING PEOPLE TO STAND UP TO ABUSE

According to the most recent government figures, restorative justice- the process that brings together victims of crime and their perpetrators so they can understand the impact of their actions- has helped 85 per cent of people who've used the service to move on from their ordeal and it's credited with reducing the frequency of re-offending by 14 per cent.

Jon Collins, Chief Executive of the*** Restorative Justice Council***, says: "The use of restorative justice is on the rise, thanks to investment from the government, which has led to new services for victims being set up. This allows them to have their say, get answers to their questions and rebuild their lives. Many find that restorative justice puts them back in control and empowers them. It also holds offenders to account and is proven to cut crime. For many offenders, meeting their victim can be incredibly challenging, and often provides the incentive to change their behaviour."

READ: 'MY BABY IS HEALING THE PAIN OF SEEING MY SISTER AND FRIEND MURDERED BY MY EX'

Restorative justice helped Laura Coel move on after she was sexually abused by her stepdad Brian Mowbray. She visited him after he was imprisoned and, incredibly, has forgiven him.

Laura says: "Being sexually assaulted from a young age was devastating- I bottled up my feelings for years, which caused me to struggle with eating disorders and self harm.

"When Brian was jailed, I didn't feel closure so I wrote to him. When I met him, I was able to tell him how he'd affected my life and ask him why he did it. I could see he was genuinely sorry and, for the first time, I was in control. I could let go of a lot of anger.

"Forgiving him has given me back control."

**Closer **psychologist Emma Kenny says: "The ultimate way of being able to move on is forgiveness. It's often misunderstood- a lot of people think through forgiving someone, the perpetrator 'gets away' with their crime- but in reality it's just accepting that the crime happened, and not holding on to the negative feelings associated. To meet the criminal responsible for harming you takes a huge amount of courage, but allows the victim in many instances to regain control."

Just so you know, we may receive a commission or other compensation from the links on this website - read why you should trust us