Paying for sex: WHY men really seek out prostitutes… and the devastating fallout

Prostitutes uk

by Closer Magazine |
Published on

Closer's shocking survey reveals just how many men pay for sex with prostitutes in the UK...

An exclusive survey of 500 men for Closer by OnePulse, the mobile research app, has shockingly revealed that one in six has visited a prostitute and, of those, a third were married or in a serious relationship.

The most common reason – cited by 22% of them – was because they wanted to experiment, followed by their desire to have sex with someone younger.

Surprisingly, the least likely reason was because they weren’t getting enough sex at home.

Here we talk to a woman whose fiancé cheated with prostitutes, a married man who visits escorts, and a sex worker to find out more...

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(Credit: Getty) ©Getty

The Wronged Woman: ‘My fiancé had sex with a hooker and it crushed me’

Names have been changed, and all images are stock images

**Simone, 42, from north London, works in promotions. she says: *“I thought my relationship with my fiancé Tony, 53, was perfect. We met through mutual friends and he treated me well. He was funny, successful, and we enjoyed each other’s company. Our sex life was very healthy – we’d make love at least once a day, if not twice.

“But then, six years into our relationship, I discovered in the worst way imaginable that my fiancé was cheating on me. I was on his computer, I can’t even remember why – but he knew I borrowed it occasionally – and clicked on a video. I genuinely wasn’t snooping as I hadn’t suspected anything.

“Horrifically, the video was of him having sex with another woman. I felt sick. When I confronted him and he admitted the woman was a prostitute, I was crushed. I couldn’t believe he’d do that to me. And I can’t understand why he needed to. She wasn’t younger or more beautiful than me, or indulging a fetish. I felt so humiliated and just sad that he could cheat on me.

“He confessed that he’d been seeing escorts since he was in his teens and that his father had seen them too – he thought it was a normal part of life. He told me it meant nothing and it was ‘just sex.’

“My instinct was to leave – I didn’t feel I could trust him again. That evening, I went to a hotel and sobbed all night, my self-esteem was on the floor. The next day I had an STI check and, to my horror, I had chlamydia. I couldn’t see a way back.

“But he begged me to stay and promised he’d never do it again. I was so low and I still loved him despite everything. An added complication was that he had a 10-year-old son, who I adored. I’d known him since he was two and we shared custody of him with Tony’s ex. I wanted to stay in his life.

“Tony promised to change but, two years later, he called me when I was working away to check when I’d be back. Alarm bells rang and I raced home.

“He was alone when I got back – but the guilt on his face when he saw me told me everything. I asked to see his phone and from his text messages I saw that he’d arranged for two escorts to come over. That killed it for me. Once he realised I wasn’t going to stay with him, he admitted that he’d never stopped seeing escorts and doubted he ever would. He didn’t even seem to care – he just said ‘all men do it.’

“It’s three years on now and I’d love to meet someone but I don’t see how I’ll ever trust a man again.”

Prostitutes uk
(Credit: Getty) ©Getty

The Escort: 'My job makes it hard to trust men'

Charlotte Rose, 36, from London, says: “If I didn’t have such a strong emotional connection with my partner I would find it hard to trust men. They are all capable of lying and doing anything to get the sex they want. Many of my clients are married or in a relationship, but I don’t feel guilty – I’m just providing a service.

“Most men don’t discuss their wives with me. But some do and there are three main reasons why they see me: they’re not getting sex at home; they have a kink or fetish – for example cross-dressing or S&M – that they’re too ashamed to broach with their wife; or the relationship is close to over anyway. Women underestimate a man’s need for sex, or they choose to ignore it. They should accept how sexual men are and also make it easier for them to discuss their desires.

“I see men from all walks of life – from MPs to builders – aged from 18 to 87. Women need to realise that it’s not the odd man who’s desperate for sex but can’t get it who visits a prostitute. It’s ordinary guys, who want an active sex life. I don’t blame wives, or the men. Both parties should feel able to communicate their desires and hopefully get what they need.”

Prostitutes uk
(Credit: Getty) ©Getty

The Cheating Husband: ‘I feel guilty but I don’t know what else I can do’

Simon, 46, an accountant from Birmingham, explains: “I love my wife and my eight-year-old son and I can think of nothing worse than my family breaking up.

“My wife and I rarely argue – we actually get on very well. We used to have a great sex life – having sex at least once a day. But then, a few years ago, our circumstances changed. I lost my job and we had to move house. After that something shifted in our relationship. Although she has never said it – and I have asked – I think she blamed me and was angry and that’s the reason we’re not having sex at all.

“We have discussed it and she says she can’t explain it, she just doesn’t feel sexual towards me any more. I am 99 per cent sure that’s the truth and that she isn’t having an affair.

“Despite the fact that I’m now in a better paid job and we have a nicer house, we haven’t been able to get back to having a sex life – it’s as if it died for her. And now I’ve put on weight through comfort eating, so I don’t feel attractive enough to even attempt to seduce her.

“But where does that leave me? I both want and need sex, ideally with her – if she wanted to do it then I would never look at anyone else. But I’m very highly sexed and, although you can masturbate, it just isn’t the same.

“It was several years before I decided to go to an escort – I visited her in desperation. I felt as though I was going mad. I only go very rarely – probably every six months – but the release when I do is amazing.

“I don’t want to have an affair, and I definitely don’t want to fall in love with anyone else and risk my marriage ending.

“I do feel guilty, I’m spending money – £150 a time – that could be spent on our family, and I am cheating on my wife. But I can’t think of another way to cope. I don’t think she knows I see an escort, but she told me to go elsewhere ages ago. But even so, I don’t feel I can risk ruining our relationship by telling her the truth.”

Signs Your Man Is Paying For Sex

Closer’s psychologist Emma Kenny says: “It can be hard to tell when a man is using prostitutes as there won’t be any obvious changes – unlike when a man is having an affair – but you should look out for the following:

*Money going missing from bank accounts or hotel bookings showing up on his statements

*Being more adventurous in the bedroom or an increased libido, as the more sex you have, the more you want

*Numbers you don’t recognise appearing on his phone and emails from strangers

OnePulse surveyed 500 Closer readers in September 2017. Want your opinion to count? Download the OnePulse app and enter invite code CLOSER to join our panel

Are you shocked by the findings of this survey? Let us know on Facebook or Twitter


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