Mother reveals why she gave her adopted son BACK after just two weeks

When the 5-year-old boy she had adopted from Haiti started getting violent with his siblings, this mother felt forced to give him back


by Kayleigh Dray |
Published on

After she volunteered in an orphanage in poverty-torn Haiti in 2005, Stacey Conner, 41, and her husband Matt decided to adopt two children.

"I worried I'd lose it and spank him"

By the time the lengthy adoption process was finished, however, Stacey had already given birth to a son of her own, who was now nearing his first birthday.

But, speaking with, Stacey insists that she was still happy to welcome her 5-year-old Haitian son and 1-year-old Haitian daughter into her home.


She said: "Having an instant multicultural family was magical - for about two weeks."

Her older son, whom she refers to as J in the interview, proved to be a very engaging child, but was prone to tantrums.

Within two months, he had begun pinching his siblings - and, despite Stacey and Matt giving J extra one-on-one time, he had soon escalated from pinching his siblings to hitting them.

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Stacey said: "When he hurt them, it provoked an anger in me I didn't know I had.

"I worried I'd lose it and spank him."

Stacey fell pregnant again, and began seeing a therapist to try and improve her relationship with J. But, despite two months of this, things got worse.

Stacey had caught J hurling a ball at the ceiling and, when she took the ball away from him, the little boy threw a tantrum and lashed out unintentionally, hitting his mother in the nose.


"I was bleeding heavily, sitting on the rug, crying. My two little ones were hiding behind a chair, crying.

"Forget love. Right then, I didn't even like J… it was clear to me that I was pushing him away to keep the smaller children safe. I couldn't handle the idea of them being hurt.

"I could see that always putting the other kids' safety above meeting J's needs was creating a barrier between us. It was a painful situation."

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Stacey and Matt decided to find a new home for J, where he would be the only or youngest child, and the 'sole focus' of his adoptive parents.

When it came to saying goodbye, J walked away, without weeping or protesting.


"I was cut apart," revealed Stacey. "But we were all so relieved to have some peace."

Seven years later, Stacey and Matt decided to become foster parents - but have set the rule that they will only take children younger than their own.

She explained candidly: "I've learned that starting life with the experience of love is good. Now I know when and how I can give it."

Would you have done the same in Stacey's position? Let us know via the comments box below now.

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