According to reports, the Mount Victoria tunnel, a busy commuter road, had been closed the previous evening for maintenance and was due to reopen at 6am.
However just before this could happen, a man jumped from the nearby walkway and, much like Maya Rudolph in that unforgettable Bridesmaids scene, defecated in the street.
Anthony Frith, a spokesperson from the New Zealand Transport Agency has labeled the incident a serious “health hazard” and revealed that it had to be dealt with responsibly and appropriately. Thus a team was called in specially to clean the scene, delaying commuters for 45 minutes.
When questioned about the delay, Frith said that it was imperative they cleared up the mess while it was “still in one place” to ensure that tyres didn’t “track it all over the place”.
He justifies the hold-up by explaining that the “maintenance crews had gone home” after working through the night and so another team had to be dispatched in order to remove the “offending material”.
Police have yet to uncover the identity of the man in question, but intend to review CCTV footage in order to solve the mystery.
Words by Courtney Pochin