Man cuts off penis and throws it in bin after girlfriend tells him it’s too small

Those little words are all it takes to ensure that something absolutely dreadful happens and it actually being one of the worst days of your existence. And someone will probably die. Also goes for: "Everything's going to be ok", "I'll never leave you" and: "I've never been happier."Like in Hollyoaks when Max Cunningham promised bride Stephanie Dean: "It's all going to be ok." It obviously wasn't. The ink had barely dried on the wedding certificate when Max was mowed down by a car as he tried to protect his brother from being hit. Weep.

Unless you want your wedding thunder to be stolen by a newborn. If you're very pregnant at your wedding, prepare for your waters to break all over your nice posh frock. It should also be noted that heavily pregnant guests should be avoided for the same reason.Over in Walford, Janine Butcher, Ronnie and Honey Mitchell all said 'I do' while heavily pregnant. Honey's waters broke in church, Janine gave birth prematurely and Ronnie delivered her baby while in a coma. So, just saying.

Because someone always pipes up. And they've never got anything nice to say. Especially Tracy Barlow.When her arch nemesis, Carla Connor, was set to get her happy ever after with Nick Tilsley, Tracy was only to happy to jump in and object. She revealed that the blushing bride had cheated on Nick with Robert.Tracy had a taste of her own medicine when Becky McDonald revealed Tracy had been lying about the cause of her miscarriage to hubby-to-be Steve McDonald. Only Becky held back and let the pair tie the knot before dropping the bomb. Nice work, Becky.

You know they're only going to bring the police to your ceremony because they're on the run for murder. It's standard.That's exactly what happened when Robron tried to get married in the Woolpack in Emmerdale. Faith Dingle was arrested and the wedding nearly didn't happen. Luckily the boys got to say their vows in the end - and we've even heard rumours that they may have another wedding when Aaron comes out of jail. Best buy another hat...

If Ronnie Mitchell had been more traditional and opted for a nice church ceremony rather than a hotel (with a pool), she'd have lived to tell the tale.Also it's worth bearing in mind to keep your wedding dress fairly simple. You know, just in case you have to leap into a swimming pool and fish out your sister.It's important to note that drowning in a church is very unlikely. Unless someone holds your head under the Holy Water.

Even if you think you've kept your secret pretty well, you can bet your bottom dollar that someone knows – and they've decided your nuptials is the perfect place to reveal all.Debbie Dingle learned this the hard way when her affair with new husband Pete Barton's brother, Ross, was revealed to all the guests at the wedding.Luckily (ish) the drama of the affair was diluted a bit when a helicopter crashed into the venue. Phew.

Particularly in Walford. It never ends well.Both Bradley Branning and Stella Mitchell ran up onto rooftops on their respective wedding days. Neither lived to tell the tale.

With all the excitement about getting wed, it's easy to forget some stuff. Maybe the rings, the something borrowed – or that you've already got a spouse. It's easily done, eh Max Branning? And you, Peter Barlow.Both of these chancers already had wives when they attempted to marry Tanya Branning and Shelley Unwin. Must've just slipped their minds.

Here's the thing, if you have to lie about your daughter having a terminal illness to make sure your betrothed actually goes through with the wedding, it's probably not meant to be.EastEnders' Ian Beale realised he was punching above his weight with Melanie Healey (who wanted to be with Steve Owen). He used Lucy's cancer scare to keep her by his side and even lied about her having cancer when she'd actually had the all clear.

If you go getting all cocky and start dating out of your post code, it's almost inevitable your hubby or wifey-to-be will be a serial killer. And that's best case scenario.When Corrie's Gail Platt met and married outsider, Richard Hillman, she didn't know that he would soon turn into the most prolific serial killer soap had ever seen.

Who even does that? Well, everyone in soap to be honest. Phil and Sharon even had their wedding reception at The Vic, where of course Shirley is a licencee. And they wondered why it all ended in tears....