Dear Jade,
I can’t believe it’s six years since we said goodbye. When I close my eyes you are still here beside me, larger than life, flashing your big cheeky grin.
I think about you every day my angel.
I was 28 when I held you in my arms for the first time. You had jet-black curly hair and beautiful green eyes.
We called you Jade. You were a good baby - you always slept soundly.
As a toddler you found your voice. I bought a Karaoke and you would belt out songs all day long. “I wanna to be a star mummy,” you would say.
I signed you up with a modelling agency aged two and you starred in some TV adverts. I was so proud.
But when you were just four our lives were thrown into chaos. Your dad Andrew was sent to prison for armed robbery and I became a single mum.
A year later in 1986 I was seriously injured in a motorbike accident that killed your uncle Budgie. I was hospitilised for two years while you lived with your gran.
When I finally came out the two of us lived in our council flat in Bermondsey. But I had lost the use of my left arm and was still in lots of pain.
From that moment you became my mum. I couldn’t do anything for myself and aged just six you bathed me, cooked, cleaned and ironed when you should have been playing with your friends.
As I got better I tried to get our lives back on track. We had good times and went on lots of holidays. You had so many friends, everybody loved you wherever we went.
You grew into a beautiful woman, left school and become a dental nurse.
But you were forced to play mum again when you were 16 and I started using drugs. My new partner introduced me to crack and it was frightening how quickly I became addicted.
You would work all day long and come home to an empty fridge because I’d used all our money to buy drugs.
With tears running down your face you would beg me to stop – but I couldn’t. It breaks my heart and I feel so guilty. I’m sorry Jade - I wish I’d been a better mum."
To read the rest of Jackiey's heart-breaking letter and for more real life stories don't miss our 24-page Real Life special inside the latest issue of Closer, on sale now!