Donna Johnson ordered an at-home DNA kit so her children could learn more about their family tree. But shockingly, the results revealed that her husband, Vanner, 46, was not the biological father of their son, Tim, 13, who was conceived through IVF.
Online detective work by the couple revealed that Tim’s real father was a man called Devin McNeil, and that he and his wife, Kelly, had used the same IVF clinic as the Johnsons.
While mix-ups at fertility clinics are incredibly rare, there have been a number of cases in the UK and worldwide – although mistakes with embryos are usually spotted a lot sooner, either during pregnancy or at birth.
Remarkably, the Johnsons and McNeils have now become friends and are helping each other come to terms with the life-changing news.
Donna, 45, says, “The past few years have been a roller coaster. I’ve felt shocked, angry and upset. But the way we feel about Tim has never changed. He will always be our son.”
Donna and Vanner had their first son, also called Vanner, naturally in November 2004. But they struggled to have a second child, and sought the help of a fertility clinic. Their second IVF attempt was successful and Tim was born in August 2008.
Donna says, “The boys have always been different. Vanner is fair with blue eyes, like his dad, while Tim is darker with brown eyes, like me, but I never thought much of it.”
Then, in July 2019, Donna purchased an at-home DNA kit. She says, “I knew the tests could tell you about your ancestors and thought it’d be fun for the boys, so we all did one.”
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Six weeks later, Donna, a teacher, and Vanner, who works in finance, received the results. They showed that Donna was the biological mother to both of her sons, but that there was no biological link between Tim and his dad. It also showed that Tim and his brother were half-siblings.
Donna says, “It seemed unbelievable and yet the results were there in black and white. I think we were in shock. We couldn’t understand how this had happened.”
Concerned that Tim’s unknown father could claim parental rights, the Johnsons, who live in Utah, USA, contacted a lawyer. Donna says, “Under Utah law, a baby born within a marriage is the legal child of that couple, so we were reassured by that.
“Our lawyers got in touch with the clinic, and a few weeks later, they confirmed that the wrong sperm had been used to fertilise my eggs – but the explanation went no further.”
The months that followed were some of the hardest of Donna’s life.
She says, “Apart from my parents and a few close friends, we didn’t tell anyone what had happened. I fell into depression. I felt betrayed by the clinic, and my husband had to come to terms with his beloved son belonging to another man.
“We even had to consider that Vanner’s sperm may have been used to fertilise a different egg – something we may never know.”
Devastated, the couple began counselling sessions.
Donna says, “We’d brought up a stranger’s baby for 13 years and needed help. We thought about keeping the secret forever, but we were eventually advised by our counsellor to be honest with Tim, rather than him finding out accidentally.
“So Vanner took Tim out for ice cream, and told him. When they got home, I gave Tim a huge hug and told him we loved him. He handled the situation amazingly well.”
Slowly, the family began to tell more people.
Donna says, “We told Tim that he could tell people in his own time. His brother was the next to know – he didn’t understand why it was such a big deal!”
Soon, Donna and Vanner began searching for Tim’s biological father. They bought another DNA test, which could link up with a local database to identify any relative, and it matched Tim with his aunt.
Donna says, “From there, we found an obituary for the aunt’s dad, which listed all her siblings. We searched their names, and her brother, Devin McNeil, had a blog, where he and his wife talked about IVF. They lived about a 10-hour drive away in Colorado. We searched his name and found a phone number.”
For months, Donna and Vanner were unsure whether to make the call.
Donna says, “We knew it would change their lives forever. How do you tell someone they have a son they don’t know about?”
Finally, in March 2021, Vanner called Devin.
Donna says, “Vanner explained he had important information regarding their IVF and asked to FaceTime him.
“He made it clear we didn’t want anything from them, but that we felt it was important Devin knew he had another child.
“The reaction was similar to ours – total disbelief. But they were warm, kind and happy to cooperate with us.”
Devin agreed to a paternity test, which revealed what the Johnsons already knew – he was the father of their son.
Donna says, “Devin said he would be involved in Tim’s life in whatever way we wanted.”
Together, the families worked out that the Johnsons had visited the IVF clinic to have their embryos implanted five days after the McNeils had gone for the same procedure. They went on to have their eldest son via IVF, before naturally conceiving their two younger children. Concerned a similar mix-up could have happened to them, the McNeils did a DNA test on their eldest son, which showed that they were both his biological parents.
After messaging back and forth for months, the two families met in June 2021.
Donna says, “Our counsellor suggested Tim write a list of questions to ask Devin. He wanted to know how tall Devin was when he was his age, if Devin played sports, and who his favourite football player was.
“I was nervous before we all met, but the McNeils were warm and welcoming, and everyone got along brilliantly. It was a surreal experience sitting across from a stranger I’d had a baby with! And Tim looked just like his half-siblings.”
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As the families said goodbye, Donna asked Tim if he’d like a photo with his biological dad.
Donna says, “He looked over at Vanner and said he wanted a picture with both dads. I was so proud of him. Tim has always been very aware of Vanner’s feelings – he’s very mature for his age.”
The Johnsons continue to have counselling, and hope to meet up with the McNeils again.
Donna says, “I’ll send Devin pictures of Tim’s football matches, and Kelly sends pictures of his half-siblings playing too.
“Tim’s relationship with Vanner has never changed. They adore each other. He’ll always be his dad.”
Now, both families are taking legal action against the IVF clinic.
Donna says, “It’s a process that could take years, but it’s important to show there needs to be more rules and regulations in place to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”
Kelly says, “When we got the phone call in March 2021, I couldn’t believe what the Johnsons were telling us. But then they showed us the DNA results, and pictures of Tim and it all became clear. He has the same dimple on his chin that Devin and my eldest son have. We wanted Donna and Vanner to know that we’d support them, and Tim, in whatever way they wanted. I’ve never felt any resentment towards them – it’s been a tough journey, but we just feel lucky that we’ve got another person to love.”