While most choose to spend their 100th birthday gazing happily at a birthday card from the QUEEN OF ENGLAND HER VERY SELF, this great-great-grandma wanted to gaze at something a little more… well, a little more intriguing.
Namely, a stripper's penis.
"I told the lad he might have to be careful with her because of her age, but then she told me she wanted the whole lot!"
The widow, who lives with her son Barry and his wife Sharon, had originally wanted to mark her century by booking a helicopter ride in a repeat of her 90th birthday celebration.
According to an interview with The Retford Times, Doris Dearhardie asked her daughter-in-law Sharon to help her organise a proper "full monty" and make it a birthday to remember:
"She asked me if when she was in the air the pilot would strip for her! We told her that no, pilots don't do that, we'll have to get you a real stripper, and she chose one herself; she said 'he looks like he's been looked after'!
"I told the lad he might have to be careful with her because of her age, but then she told me she wanted the whole lot!"
Apparently Doris got so involved in the routine that she ended up with whipped cream on her face while LMFAO's 'Sexy And You Know It' played in the packed venue.
She even took along a bottle of baby oil which was given to her as a present by her hairdresser.
And yeah, there's a video:
The bit where she eats the banana… wow.
"It was brilliant, a really good night. Her face when the lad straddled her! I don't think she'd believed he would do the whole lot. She loved the limo ride to the pub and to see an 100-year-old enjoy something like this was great," added Sharon.
"She's in great health for her age - the doctor says she has the heart and lungs of a 30-year-old," added son Barry, who presumably found the striptease a little more awkward than his wife did!
How would YOU celebrate your 100th birthday? Is it with a stripper? It is, isn't it? You saucy minxes...