EXCLUSIVE: ‘I started cross-dressing at 8 – and my parents disowned me when I was 13 for being transgender’

When Grace was just 8-years-old she began cross dressing, but when her parents found out, they weren't supportive; they cut her out of their lives entirely…

trans

by Kayleigh Dray |
Published on

"At 7-years old, I knew deep down that something wasn't right. It felt like I had mixed emotions. One day I'd be climbing trees, the next day I'd be playing with dolls.

"At the time I didn't really pay attention. I just thought playing with dolls, or Barbies, or even dressing up as a girl, was a normal thing to do as a 7 year old boy. I really enjoyed just wearing wigs and holding handbags - it really made me feel like a girl.

"At 8-years-old, I took things further. I started applying makeup and wearing girl clothes - but I made sure to hid it from everyone. Because, while I felt happy, strong and confident as a girl, I knew that it was better could see me.

"I didn't live with my mum and dad growing up; I was living with my mum's ex-boyfriend, who raised me from just 18 months old and loved me like a father, but I needed my mum and dad."

Grace
Grace

"Bullies at school would taunt me, telling me that I should die, and I'd lay on bed crying, begging for a family to love me. I wanted my parents around me, to protect me and make life less difficult.

"At 10-years-old I started to cut my wrists. I didn't want to live in the world anymore and needed to get to a place where there were no bullies.

"Things got worse in high school. I was a black sheep, feeling like a girl on the inside but horribly in the wrong body. I was attacked for being gay by the bullies, calling me 'sick scum' and 'worthless'.

"But I knew I wasn't gay. I was just a girl in the wrong body.

"When i was 13-years-old, I sent my mum a message. We'd been in contact and I felt it was only right to tell her that I wanted to be a girl.

"She replied, coolly, 'whatever makes you happy', before deleting her account and cutting me out of her life entirely."

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"I wanted to die and really didn't want to live anymore. In fact, I tried everything I could do to end my life - but, from somewhere deep inside, something was stopping me."

Grace

"That didn't stop me being sectioned at the age of 14. I was being punished for self-harming, punished for hurting myself - and punished for what the school bullies were doing to me. it just didn't seem fair.

"At 15-years-old I left school - I just couldn't cope with the bullies anymore. I spoke with a doctor privately, explaining how confused I was, telling him that when I looked into the mirror I could see a girl staring back out at me.

"He referred me to a counsellor and, finally, I felt as if someone understood me. After talking to her about the bullying and about my feelings, she explained to me that I was in the wrong body - and the support made things so much easier.

"It was just such a relief to hear that I'd been right the whole time."

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"I began dressing as a girl full-time and had a smile on my face. The bullies kept on, but now that I knew who I was, I didn't care what they said about me.

"Now I'm 18-years-old and I've been put on the list for gender reassignment. The bullies have stopped, at last, because they realised I just didn't care what they had to say. And, because I won't back down to them, I've earned respect from people."

Grace

"Sure, I still don't have a mum or dad - and, at the moment, i don't have many friends. But I'm dressing full-time as a female, living life as I want to - and I just get stronger and stronger every single day.

"I've learned that you should never hide behind your tears. To anyone else out there who feels trapped in the wrong body, remember this; you should just put your head up, stay true to yourself and you'll feel fantastic."

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