This divorced couple still take a family photo every year to show their son he always comes first


by Emma Dodds |
Published on

Victoria Baldwin and Adam Dyson still have family photos taken together for the sake of their four-year-old son Bruce

Going through a divorce is one of the toughest things ever - not just for the two people separating, but also for their children too.

They may be panicking that they'll forever scar their children, or that they might not be able to have relationships in the future.

But Victoria Baldwin and Adam Dyson have found a way to work around that - together.

When they divorced two years ago, they agreed to put their son Bruce, now four, first. They decided that his happiness and wellbeing was more important than how they felt about each other.

To do this, they continued the tradition they had started when they were married to have annual family photos taken.

In a post on the Facebook page Love What Matters, Victoria explained the situation: "We are not in love, we don't always agree, we're not best friends, sometimes we don't even like one another. But you know what we are? We are forever connected because of our beautiful, smart, kind, compassionate, funny son.

"We RESPECT one another. We remember that neither of our roles as parents take precedence over the other - neither one of us are any more important to the life of our son. We BOTH need to be there, we BOTH deserve quality time and quality memories with him.

"Neither of us blame one another for the direction our relationship took. We do not place blame on one another, and we certainly don't place blame in the presence of our son."

Victoria's beautiful post, which includes photos taken by Kate at Mayflie Photography goes on to describe that although she and Adam are not "perfect co-parents", they prioritise their son - as they should do.

She writes: "We made a deal when we got divorced to put our son first and to value the richness that we each bring to his life, for different reasons. So yes, we still have a family portrait taken, and I still pay good money to have the images printed, framed, and placed in our son's bedroom.

"He may not grow up with parents who live in the same house... But he will grow up to see respect, kindness, empathy, compassion, perseverance, flexibility, and even sacrifice being modelled by both of his parents and he will know it is possible to fall out of love but never fall apart."

Victoria makes sure they take their family photo together once a year (Credit: Facebook/ Victoria Baldwin) ©Facebook/ Victoria Baldwin

The photographer, who now lives in Alaska, well over 4,000 miles away from Adam who resides in South Carolina, appeared on CBS News to discuss the post, which has now been shared over 1,500 times.

She revealed the turning point for her: "We had a heated discussion in front of our son, who sat crying at my feet.

"I realised the next day I was more focused on hurting his dad than I was on comforting Bruce crying. I knew that wasn't the example I wanted to set."

She then explained that she has broken off relationships with people who could not deal with the situation: "We both agree we'll continue it. I have ended potential relationships because they questioned intentions or the quality of Adam and my relationship. We aren't romantic, but we respect one another. I won't be with someone who wouldn't accept that."

She lives in Alaska whilst Adam lives over 4,000 miles away in South Carolina (Credit: Facebook/ Victoria Baldwin) ©Facebook/ Victoria Baldwin

What an amazing example to set your children. ❤️

Have you or a loved one had children and then divorced? How did you explain it to your children? Let us know over on Facebook and Twitter.

Like this? Now read these:

Divorce advice: How to be alone after your marriage ends - without feeling lonely

How to cope as an adult child of divorce

Co-parenting tips for divorced parents

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